


An Awkward Situation

by BattleBelle23



Category: South Park, South Park fractured but whole, South Park: The Fractured But Whole - Fandom
Genre: Drabbles, F/M, Female New Kid, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship to Lovers, Kyle and New Kid bond over mommy issues, Kyle and the New Kid are will they/won't they-ing but they will, M/M, New Kid is a girl, New Kid isn't completely silent, New Kid starts out shy but grows into her personality more and more, New Kid/Wendy/Henrietta are going to be the ultimate squad goals, Tweek and Craig treat New Kid like their kid and NK has had enough of their bickering, Wendy and New Kid are bffs, Wendy's highkey chaotic and i'm surprised no one's picked up on that, silent new kid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:33:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleBelle23/pseuds/BattleBelle23
Summary: When you're the New Kid, awkward situations are bound to happen. Did the New Kid expect that those awkward situations would include superheroes, a political conspiracy, fixing friendships, budding romances and a mystery about her past?Well, no. But she's since learned when in South Park, it's best to just...go with it.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/New Kid | Douchebag, Kyle Broflovski/Original Female Character(s), New Kid/Everyone (friendship), Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger, Wendy Testaburger/New Kid (friendship)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 89





	1. An Awkward Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: do not own South Park. Or any of the video games mentioned in this entire series.
> 
> Series will follow FBW's plot but will have some none-FBW related things.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The New Kid's gender is revealed.

The New Kid has been through a lot of awkward situations. It happened when she stopped talking to people. And it happened when her parents barged into her room in in a panic and tell her they had to leave tonight, no explanations whatsoever. It happened when she moved in South Park and no one quite picked up on her gender. It was like…well, not an elephant in to room. More like a fly in the room. People knew it was there, but they just didn’t care much to talk about it. Mostly because, since the new kid (back then had shorter hair) hung out with the boys, laughed (ahem, smiled) at fart jokes and generally didn’t wear anything too pink and girly, it was assumed that the New Kid was a boy.

Even when the New Kid’s hair grew longer and when she began to wear dresses, no one questioned her gender. Of course, at the time, it was assumed that perhaps it was just part of the whole fantasy gameplay, like that McCormick kid was doing. Just child’s play.

But it wasn’t until Mr Mackey, the school's oddball and slightly unhinged, in the New Kid's opinion, counselor asked her a question everyone's always wondered but never confirmed and thus created what may be the most awkward situation of her life.

“I’m a girl.” she said. Out loud. First time, too. It felt good to say it out loud. It also felt odd, too. After all, at her age, you don’t really think too much about your own gender. Things were so crazy in South Park that being mistaken for a boy was something that wasn’t constantly on the back of her mind.

“…Oh.” Mr Mackey simply said.

In hindsight, it was easy to see where the confusion was: the New Kid had long hair, but she had the kind of face where you couldn’t tell if she was a girl or just a very pretty boy. She never spoke, so it was impossible to tell that her voice was actually pretty feminine. Finally, the New Kid’s name was unisex, so it could have just as easily been a boy’s name.

_…Oh._

Suddenly, a huge pit grew in the New Kid's stomach. Believe it or not, the New Kid liked her friends. They were assholes, sure. Not the brightest bulbs in the Christmas tree either. But they were fun. And oddly creative and resourceful for kids. More so than the ones in Ro-anywhere, she means.

Sure, they had their flaws. But no one was more interesting than her group of friends.

But would they still like her if they knew?

Stan and Kyle were the only ones she trusted to still like her. Tweek would probably freak out at first because of the shock but she had a hard time believing he’d hate her for it. Craig would probably react the way he always does, nonchalant about the whole thing. Scott and Butters, they’ll just go along with whatever Cartman tells them, so probably won’t like her anymore. But even then, there was a question of whether or not she’d be treated differently.

There was a time when she considered hanging out with the girls. She’s always wanted to have a group of girl friends: hanging out at the mall, shopping, sleepovers, the group chat where they viciously roast an asshole who’s hurt one of their own. But…well, let’s just say she had bad experiences with girls in her old school. So even though she longed for female companionship, a part of her was too afraid to try, even those sometimes during lunch, she would look over at the girls’ cafeteria table and stare longingly, wishing she, too could be part of that one day.

What’s more, she didn’t like the idea of being treated any different just because she was a girl. She hated the notion anything should be labeled as a ‘girl thing’ or a ‘boy thing’. It seemed stupid. She bets there’s plenty of girls who liked things boys like and vice versa. But anyways…

This whole Coon Friends vs Freedom Pals thing was frustrating. It was mostly a Marvel vs DC debate (and it was obvious Marvel was superior). But she enjoyed playing with Stan, Kyle and Kenny, and this whole civil war has her and Kyle going up against Stan and Kenny. She was surprised Kyle sided with Cartman, in all honesty. But as much as she liked Stan, Kenny and Tweek, she’d always be on Kyle’s side. If you asked her why, she’d just stare at you with the blank look in her eyes that she’s perfected since she left her hometown, the perfect blank slate her parents asked her to be. On one hand, repressing her thoughts and emotions could be frustrating. But on the other, it was kinda funny to see how people reacted to her. Unsurprisingly, it’s difficult to hate on someone who doesn’t talk too much.

Although, that was back when they thought she was a boy. Maybe they would feel differently. Maybe she would be too much of a girl for the guys and too much of a guy for the girls. A sigh escaped her. Well, at least her parents will be happy. No friends means no being noticed.

Telling a kid not to stand out or get noticed in any way, shape or form was stressful. It meant she couldn’t talk. She couldn’t wear any clothes that were too colorful or unique. She couldn’t have grades too high or too low. Couldn’t have a talent with any instrument or sport. Even her own gender, race and ethnicity was oddly ambiguous. All of these things meant she was perfect for remaining incognito, but also made it a guarantee that she would spend a long time without friends. But she didn’t blame anyone for not wanting to be her friend at first. She barely knew herself, so how could she expect people to like her? She was used to it.

But by some miracle, coming to South Park, even though she tried to remain as ‘unnnoticeable' as she possibly could, she was still noticed and she finally noticed…well, herself for the first time. For example, she realised her favorite color was light pink. She liked comic books. She liked wearing dresses. Her favorite food was Mexican. She could be pretty quick when she wanted to be (as she discovered through her Assassin class moves). Most importantly, she realised she actually liked who she was. She liked her friends. Her awful, annoying, childish friends and she wouldn’t have it any other way. And the more surprisingly, South Park turned out to be everything she’s always wanted but never thought she could ever have.

See, the New Kid was used to not having any friends in her old hometown but now that she’s had a taste of what it’s like to have friends, fun, adventure and just being a kid, she couldn’t believe she had to let go of that again.

A heavy sigh escaped her. She hated this. But it seems like she had no choice…

As fate would have it, as soon as she told Mackey she was a girl, she had a serious craving for unhealthy foods, which is why she made her way towards Raisins which, believe it or not, had seriously good chicken wings. Besides, she recalled needing to pick up Classi’s prescription at Medicinal Fried Chicken. She might as well perform her very last duty as a superhero.

It led her in the path of some pissed-off Raisins girls.

 _‘Could you not? I’m kinda having a rough day.’_ the New Kid wanted to say. And to be honest, given how her big secret was going to come out, she might as well have said it and given away her gender through her voice anyway. But before she knew it, one of the Raisins girls just immediately smacked her across the face, which just pissed her off. Sure, she understood why they were pissed off, after the whole Mosquito thing (to be fair, the New Kid made it perfectly clear she didn’t approve of Mosquito dining and dashing). If it’s a fight they wanted, it’s a fight they’ll get. She may be a quiet douchebag but Mama didn’t raise her no weak-ass bitch.

Whoever said that girls only fight via catty remarks and gossip was a complete moron and probably had limited experience with girls themselves. The New Kid knew for a fact girls’ fights were just as brutal as boys’ fights can be. Maybe even more, since the whole concept of ’sisterhood’ was so pushed down her throat that it felt like a betrayal when those ideals weren’t followed. Instead of using ‘superpowers’, they fought dirty, using their nails and ripping out whatever whenever. Given the fact that the New Kid was already in a very low mood and she was extremely outnumbered, the fight was a lot tougher than it should have been. Still, the fight wasn’t so bad...until came Rebecca, who was just terrifying. Welp. The New Kid was dead. She didn’t have any burritos for health and she only had enough help to defeat the last Raisins girl.

She was sure she was screwed. Until right before Rebecca was above to deliver the final blow, her phone buzzed nonstop. When she took her phone out, she immediately began to panic.

“A thousand people just disliked my picture of me in ballet class on Instagram! I’m totally getting trolled right now!”

Just like that, a chain reaction began. All of a sudden, all Raisins girls began to freak out over weird things happening on social media.

“What the f…Heather, why’d you tweet that I was going out with Eric Cartman?!”

“I didn’t!”

“I’m totally getting trolled right now, too!”

“What the fuck? What the fuck? I just lost all my followers!”

“I have to get to a computer!”

And just like that, all the Raisins girls disappeared, leaving a very confused and slightly concussed New Kid

Luckily enough, Call Girl showed up at the last minute and saved the New Kid’s ass.

“Hello, New Kid.” she greeted, “Don’t worry. I’m unfriending their Instagrams exponentially. They won’t be back for a while."

It didn’t take very long for the New Kid to realise that Call Girl was, in fact, Wendy Testaburger.

Wendy had always been one of the people that the New Kid had a ‘friend crush’ on. The New Kid got to know her a bit when Wendy came and hung out with Stan. From what she could tell, Wendy was smart, tough and pissed off Cartman. Anyone like that was okay in her books.

Still, she was pretty surprised to see Wendy playing superheroes as well. But it made sense. Wendy was a lot like Kyle after all, personality-wise. She was always trying to fight injustices in her own little ways and if there was any one of the girls who wouldn’t mind playing superheroes with the boys, it would be her.

Apparently, she’s been doing some covert vigilante work of her own, trying to investigate just why the fuck everyone in South Park was acting so weird...-er than usual. The New Kid was pleasantly surprised and thought Call Girl could have been a valuable asset to Coon Friends, but she also knew there was no way that Cartman would let her be a part of it.

Oh. Now that she thought about it, she’s so screwed when Cartman finds out, too.

But then, Wendy asked the million dollar question.

“You know, some boys think girls don’t make good superheroes. I’ve always known you were a girl, New Kid. Why did you pretend to be a boy?” Wendy asks.

The New Kid merely bit her lip, looking a bit sheepish about the whole thing. It’s not like she wanted people to think she was a boy. It just happened. And once her parents realised it was happening, they encouraged her to keep up with the charade just for the sake of making it harder to find them.

But she couldn’t reveal the full truth. So instead, she answered differently.

“Because I wanted to be a superhero, and they say girls can’t be superheroes.” It wasn’t a complete lie, at least.

Wendy had no idea of knowing this, but she was the first person in South Park to hear the New Kid’s voice. The New Kid herself felt like she was surprised by her own voice. It had been different from the last time she spoke.

Wendy smiled, “And yet, here we are.”

The New Kid smiled back. She’d spent so long pretending to be a boy that it felt pretty nice that to be acknowledged. She had no idea how long it’s been since she even called herself a girl.

“You know, New Kid, you and I should hang out sometime. Every girl needs a girlfriend and I get the feeling you need a break from the boys from time to time.” she suggested.

The New Kid nodded, with a little too much enthusiasm, she felt, because her superhero mask fell. Her cheeks blushed with embarrassment, but Wendy only laughed it off.

“Cool! I’ll friend you on the ‘gram and we can hang out later! We could go to Bebe’s! She’s actually been working on some superhero costume designs, if you’re interested in a new look.”

Hmm. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

Well, thank God she lived in this quiet little red-neck po-dunk white-trash mountain town.


	2. An Awkward Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look back on Kyle's friendship with the New Kid and the school reacts to finding out the New Kid is a girl.
> 
> Note: The games/consoles/streaming sites mentioned in this chapter, including Netflix, Nintendo Switch, Stardew Valley, Overwatch or Farmville do not belong to me.

_Four Months Ago_

Stark’s Pond used to be a popular place to go for kids. But at nighttime, it became a quiet haven. Too cold for the homeless, too much of a walk for drug addicts, too away from the bar for the alcoholics. 

It’s where Kyle Broflovski would go sometimes when life got a bit much and he needed to think. Sneaking out of his room at night didn’t seem like something he would do and in normal circumstances, he doesn’t. But sometimes, things at home was just...too much. Too filled with distractions. His mother loudly yelling, his father being a doormat, his little brother screaming his head off begging for attention. Plus, it’s South Park. Something crazy was always happening, all the time. Sometimes, it felt like he was the only one who had any sense in the house. In the whole town, actually.

So he made his way to Stark’s Pond. But one afternoon just as the sun was setting, it hadn’t been empty like all those other times he went there. For a second, he thought he saw a girl there. Instead, it was just Douchebag, a.k.a the New Kid. Huh. He could have sworn he looked a lot like a girl that night. It was the hair. When he first moved in, the New Kid’s hair was pretty short. Now, it grew to his shoulders. The difference made it a bit confusing sometimes and Kyle had to constantly remind himself that the New Kid was a guy, too.

“Oh. New Kid. Hey.” Kyle greeted, absent minded. “For a second there, I thought you were a girl."

To that, the New Kid shrugged. He didn’t seem to care that he looked like a girl. But that was the New Kid, Kyle guessed. Nothing ever got to him. Not when literally everyone was making him do all the hard work during their RPGs, not when they were blaming him for everything, not even when they were flat-out insulting him to his face.

It wasn’t fair that the New Kid got so much flack. Still, Kyle admired his friend’s resilience. Both admired and felt sorry for him.

The New Kid didn’t talk much. But he had a weird ability to communicate through facial expressions. In this case, he asked Kyle what exactly he was doing here so late.

“It’s my mom. She’s kind of overbearing, you know? She’s just doing that thing again where she blames everyone but herself or us for our behaviors…It’s crazy! I literally told my mom once that her not talking to me and just blaming Canada for my behavior was bad and it actually caused war and Satan and Saddam Hussein to rise from the dead…” Kyle completely missed the look of utter confusion in the New Kid’s face, “But it’s like, no matter how much I tell her something, she always forgets and keeps repeating the same mistake. There’s no use talking to her because even if she does learn her lesson she just forgets it a few weeks later. it gets really tiring, having to repeat things and her not listening…”

The New Kid nodded, understanding. Kyle just looked to the ground and sighed. Parents were real dicks, sometimes. Crazy to think how there was a time their parents didn’t want anything more than to have their kids, but the moment the kids came, the parents wanted something else: money, booze, other people. 

Suddenly, he found himself getting a tad embarrassed at his rambling like that. But it didn’t seem like the New Kid minded much and honestly, Kyle needed to vent.

It was odd, but when Kyle looked back at the New Kid, despite the fact that he had yet to speak a word, he still understood what the New Kid had been trying to say. 

“I know parents aren’t perfect. But there’s something about them not being perfect that’s so difficult, y’know?”

“…” the New Kid merely shrugged, then sighed.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s because we’ve been told since we were kids that they are perfect and all-knowing. And when we grow older, we start to see the cracks and realise that we may even be better than our parents in certain ways, but that just screws you up because you’re still a kid and so confused about everything.”

The New Kid nodded, then pointed to him and Kyle, then pointed back to the town and shook his head.

“Yeah, it’s up to us to learn not to recreate our parents’ mistakes…Wow, you know, you’re really smart, New Kid.”

The New Kid smiled and shrugged jokingly.

Kyle laughed. “And humble.”

The New Kid smiled again, his own version of a laugh.

"Anyway, what about you? What are your parents like?”

And that’s when it happened. The moment Kyle never forgot. He’s seen the New Kid smile before. He's seen the New Kid annoyed. But he’s never actually seen him look so…sad. As soon as he asked the question, the New Kid’s shoulders slumped and his eyes got all watery.

“Oh…so you’re here for the same reason as me, huh?” 

It’s odd. Kyle’s hung out with the New Kid but never really knew him that well. It’s only now he realised a lot of things: the New Kid helped people out a lot. He dealt with a lot of everyone’s bullshit. A lot of people took him for granted. Still, the New Kid never complained. Always willing to lend a hand. Never asked for anything back. 

In fact, he was pretty sure the New Kid knew everything about everyone, whether he wanted to or not. Yet no one really asked him anything about him. Now that Kyle thought about it, it all seemed pretty unfair.

“Any chance you want to talk about it?” he offered, but the New Kid shook his head.

Hard family lives were the worst. Kyle knew that, but when someone needed help, he never knew whether to press them to talk or to just let them be. And with someone as enigmatic as the New Kid, it was even more impossible to tell.

Suddenly, when he looked up, he noticed the New Kid’s eyes were all teary and he was biting his lip the whole time.

“Oh, come on, New Kid, don’t cry!” Kyle pleaded, but that seemed the make things worse and the New Kid started crying.

He didn’t know what possessed him to do it. Maybe it was because this was the first time he ever saw the New Kid truly upset. The fact that the New Kid looked like a crying girl didn’t help too much. So, without thinking, he immediately approached the New Kid and hugged them.

Kyle wasn’t much of a hugger. There were the rare instances he would sometimes hug Stan and Kenny, either to celebrate something or because they haven’t seen each other in a while. When Ike was sad, Kyle would never hesitate to hug him. But this was his first time hugging someone who was practically a complete stranger. What was even weirder is how it didn’t feel really weird at all. 

At first, all he could think about was how everytime he heard the New Kid sob, it would make him hug him even tighter. Then he couldn’t help but wonder how long the New Kid’s been keeping this in. As far as he knew, the New Kid’s never really talked to anyone. No one even referred to him by his name. Sure, the boys played with him every once in a while but who could really say they were his friend, or knew him? He moved to South Park last Christmas, and it was now autumn and still, he doesn’t think anyone really hung out with him. Kyle couldn’t help but think of how awful it must be to be upset or happy or anything and not being able to tell anyone.

“Hey, don’t worry, New Kid. It’ll work out…” Kyle said. Deep down, he knew things rarely ‘just worked out’. But that’s not what the New Kid needed to hear right now, even though he probably thinks the same thing.

Eventually, the New Kid’s sobs began to subside and he began to pull away. Oddly enough, right after they stopped hugging, Kyle couldn’t help but think how nice the New Kid smelled for a dude.

The New Kid smiled at him, grateful. 

“No worries, dude.” Kyle said, kind of embarrassed about the hug. “Hey, this is fun. All we need is some sad music in the background and we’re ready to shoot a Netflix original.” 

He wasn’t a joker like Jimmy, but he thought the New Kid could use some cheering up. It was a lame joke. Still, the New Kid laughed. Well, if you could call it one. The New Kid’s laugh tended to sound like a snort or a muffled laugh, so in reality, Kyle’s never even heard his voice through his laughter.

“Hey, New Kid. Are you ever going to speak?” Kyle asked.

The New Kid paused, then looked up to the night sky. After a while, he nodded, then held up one finger.

“One day? Okay, then.” Kyle accepted that easily, already excited for the day he does hear him talk.

For awhile, there was silence among the two kids as they sat down on the bench overlooking the pond. Usually, silences with people you barely knew were awkward as hell. But to both the New Kid and Kyle’s surprise, there was no awkwardness. It felt peaceful, if anything. A welcome change from the ruckus from their homes and the insanity that their town was filled with.

After a while, the New Kid seemed to perk up and his eyes widened.

Kyle noticed this immediately, “What?”

Next thing he knew, the New Kid pulled out the Nintendo Switch in its portable mode and began to open it.

“I knew you played games, New Kid, but I didn't know you had a Switch! Though I don't really recognise the game..." Kyle admitted, looking at the game entitled ' _Stardew Valley_ '. As he heard the game load up, he did think of how nice the opening theme was, though. Relaxing, calming and peaceful. All that his town never was.

Then he watched as the New Kid began a new game, then handed it to Kyle.

“You want me to play?” Kyle asked, and the New Kid’s nod confirmed it. 

“Okay, wow! Thanks, dude!” Kyle said excitedly. 

To his surprise, he found himself absolutely loving the game. It had been a simple country life RPG, but was strangely addicting. It was better than his previous obsession with _Farmville_ , because at least this game didn't require any payments or anything. It was just nice. He hadn't played a game like this in a while. All his games were the usual first-person shooters, games with quests and high stakes...don't get him wrong, those were nice, too. But every once in a while, it was nice to play a game where there were no expectations. Where all you had to do was just relax, play and enjoy.

Kyle went to Stark’s Pond expecting just a sad, lonely walk and instead ended up laughing and playing a game. Life seemed to be so unexpectedly great sometimes. Before he knew it, hours had passed, and both of them began to walk back home before it was too late. 

“I can’t believe I've played for that long.” Kyle said in astonishment, "Time flew by pretty quickly."

The New Kid nodded. His cheeks were getting red from the night cold and there was something about having that much fun, seeing the sky go from red to blue, that made the whole night seem kind of...well, he didn't want to be corny and say 'magical', because really, what's so magical about just spending some time with a new friend and playing some games? Still, it was something along those lines.

Kyle wasn't a very teasing kind of person. But there was something about the New Kid that made him want to tease around a bit. "I'm sure it's just because of the game, though." 

The New Kid stopped and glared at him for a second, but grinned, knowing he was just joking.

"And the company." Kyle finally acquiesced, making both of them chuckle.

They reached the red house that belonged to the New Kid. Kyle just marvelled at how close they all actually were. He could already see his home, only a few houses away. Given how much fun he’d had with the New Kid, it was weird how tonight was their first time really hanging out.

“Hey, New Kid. It’s a bit weird calling you New Kid all the time. Mind if I call you your actual name?” he asked.

The New Kid thought about it for a second. Kyle could guess why. On one hand, the New Kid’s name wasn’t exactly a secret or anything. At the same time, calling him by his actual name felt so personal, like something that should only be reserved for his parents or close friends. At that realisation, Kyle suddenly found himself a bit anxious of the New Kid’s response.

But to his delight, the New Kid nodded and Kyle suddenly felt really glad, not to mention special.

“Cool! Well, tonight was fun, really fun. We should hang out more often. You’re pretty cool, Riley.” Kyle complimented and the New Kid just smiled back at him.

_‘So are you.’_ the New Kid thought.

* * *

_  
Present Day_

Initially, the New Kid wanted to tell the truth about being a girl to her friends first, but as it happens, students overheard Mackey tell teachers in the teacher's lounge the truth about the New Kid's gender and by the next day, it has been all anyone could talk about.

Stan and Kenny were the first of her friends she saw that day. She bit her lip, approaching them slowly. Still, she kept the blank expression on her face even though inside she was scared shitless. 

But as it turns out, Stan was pretty relieved that the New Kid was a girl.

"Dude, Wendy's always asking about you. 'Is the New Kid playing?' 'Is the New Kid okay?' 'Why don't you ask the New Kid to come?' I thought she was into you at first!” Stan laughed.

"Maybe she still is." Kenny winked, fantasising about it in his head until Stan smacked him.

If you had told Stan or Kenny that they would be close friends with a girl, they’d laugh at you and tell you it was impossible. And in all honesty, if the New Kid’s gender was clear from the beginning, neither of them were sure a friendship would grow. After all, they were still fourth graders trying to figure out how girls worked. If a girl like the New Kid came up to them asking them to play, they would be too nervous thinking about how she’s a girl and may end up not acting like themselves. They’d see her a lot differently. So, in a way, it was a blessing in disguise.

For Kenny, he’s not too sure why he feels a certain kinship with the New Kid. Kyle’s hinted once that the New Kid’s parents weren’t exactly going to win Family of the Year (then again, who in South Park would?) but Kenny’s never really talked to the New Kid about it. Occasionally, he found her wandering around South Park in her PJs and sometimes she stumbled near what used to be SodoSopa. He and Karen did that sometimes, too (though Karen never realised that he knew). The New Kid never knew it, but when he did spot her, he liked to keep a close eye on her, making sure the local crazies of South Park weren’t going to give her any trouble. He did the same thing for his little sister. Once, he caught the New Kid walking up to Stark’s Pond and saw Kyle waiting there for her. That time, he grinned and made his way back home, figuring she would be in good hands.

He never really knew her that well. But one time, he needed help rescuing his sister from vamp kids in Casa Bonita. Despite them not really knowing each other, the New Kid didn't hesitate to come and help. Maybe he began to appreciate her a bit more then.

Maybe it was because he knew her home life wasn’t easy. Maybe it was because she never talked and he found himself wondering what exactly she was hiding. Or maybe it was the fact that she was the only one besides him to have any real powers. It made him wonder, sometimes…were they cut from the same cloth somehow?

“You remind me of my sister, New Kid. I have this strange urge to protect you.” Mysterion once told her and it was true. Sometimes, she had the same expression in Karen’s eyes when their dad would scream at them and Karen would run into her room before anyone caught her crying. Because of that, Kenny had always been the closest to figuring out she was a girl, even though he never got the confirmation until now.

As for Stan, well, he was secretly thankful for the New Kid. Even before he realised she was a girl, it seemed that Wendy knew it all along, hence why she always suggested to hang out with the New Kid if they were going to do a group activity together. The more they all hung out, the more Stan actually got to know his girlfriend. Sure, he loved her and all, but he actually had fun hanging out with her, too. 

It was an odd concept, but a welcomed change he felt did wonders for his relationship. Given his how the New Kid seemed to understand his girlfriend, the New Kid often gave him advice and was willing to listen to him talk about certain worries he had about girl problems, things he couldn’t really ask Kyle, Kenny or Cartman without getting ripped on. So that being said, he had no desire whatsoever to lose his friendship with her. In fact, he was kinda looking forward to this new change in dynamics.

Watching all this unfold, the New Kid smiled. It seemed like they didn't really care or treat her differently. The conversation quickly moved to the latest Chinpokomon game coming out. Nothing had changed and honestly, the New Kid felt better that they knew the truth. It was trivial to some, but being able to just be herself meant the world.

Throughout the day, she met with several other of her friends who didn't seem to care too much about it. Some were shocked, some claimed to suspect the truth for a while. She could see some awkwardness in others like Clyde, Butters and Scott Malkinson. But overall, the majority seemed fine with it.

By lunchtime, despite her hesitance, her usual spot at the table was still empty and seemed to wait for her. Despite the ‘civil war’, lunch was really the only time everyone sat together. Sure, there was the occasional bitching about the ongoing war, but usually everyone was too busy discussing school or recent events to let that conversation linger on too long.

For instance, the fact that the New Kid was a girl couldn’t exactly been ignored.

"So....if you're a girl, and you play superhero, does that make you transginger?" Butters asked.

...Some questions were brighter than others.

“So, why'd you hide it, New Kid?” Clyde asked.

“Probably didn’t want you hitting on her if you found out.” Craig, ever the voice of blunt reason and obvious common sense, pointed out. “Not that there’s any chance of anyone wanting to date you after they heard about you being a dick to the Raisins girls.”

“It’s not my fault! They’re my kryptonite!” 

Even Token rolled his eyes at that, “You still have to pay for your food when you eat there, dumbass.”

"Anyways, who cares if she's a girl? What matters is, she's less annoying than some of you guys and that's reason enough for me to like her." Craig said in his usual deadpan voice, but he saw the New Kid smile at him, knowing that was his weird little of way of saying he cared about her.

But of course he did. Craig and the New Kid first met ages ago when Tweek met the New Kid and began hanging out with her. Well, at first, Craig thought 'she' was a 'he' and may or may not have been a little bit kinda sorta jealous. But then Tweek told him that the New Kid asked for Craig to go online and play with them during one of her and Tweek's _Overwatch_ sessions. At first, the New Kid sucked, but gradually, Craig and Tweek gave some pointers and now, well, guess who got Play of the Game nearly every time? Craig began to realise there was nothing to be jealous about and he even started to see the appeal in hanging out with the New Kid himself.

During their more physical games with the other guys, he and the New Kid tended to go for 'upfront and centre' kind of roles, which meant him and the New Kid were often charging towards enemies together. Now, he was very well capable of handling himself. But so could the New Kid, actually. And he was starting to realise, he actually liked having her as his fellow battle pal: she was just as capable of handling herself, but she was also strategic enough to know when to stop and heal him or provide some kind of support. A little bit of pride went into Craig's head, realising that sometimes the New Kid picked up some tips he gave her and applied them carefully, turning her into the lean mean fighting machine she was today. The fact that she was a girl just made her physical fights seem all the more impressive, if he was being honest.

Speak of the devil, Craig could have sworn he saw Tweek smile at him when he defended the New Kid. Not that he cared what Tweek thought, of course. He was, after all, his ex-boyfriend.

On Tweek's part, he didn't care that she was a girl, either. After all, Tweek was the New Kid's first friend, as he was the only one to invite her over to play some games even after the whole Stick of Truth thing ended. Tweek knew what it felt like to be considered the one no one really liked or cared for. But as the months got on, Tweek saw how the New Kid went from being someone completely emotionless and friendless, almost a completely perfect blank slate, to someone who was slowly revealing who she really was bit by bit: she smiled more, she frowned more, she hit people more when they pissed her off, she began hanging out with Kyle, Stan and Kenny as opposed to just him and Craig. Tweek was just so glad for the New Kid, who seemed to be blossoming more every day. He even saw Wendy hug the New Kid earlier today, confirming that the New Kid was befriending other girls, now, too! It was all pretty exciting.

Did either of them know she was a girl the whole time? Of course not. But call it their gay super-sense or whatever, somehow, they were one of the least surprised out of everyone.

Briefly, Tweek and Craig exchanged a look. They felt responsible for the New Kid and despite their current issues, they both knew that they would help the New Kid out whenever they needed to. In fact, the New Kid's 'coming out', so to speak, made them realise that lately, they've sort of been playing tug-of-war with the New Kid, using her as a pawn in their couples arguments. Neither of them knew it, but both began to think the same thing: they probably should go for counselling. If not for themselves, for their New Kid.

In any case, lunch only just started and already there were loads of questions. The New Kid was glad that she wasn't flat-out rejected from the table but couldn't help but feel a little upset. Because bizarrely enough, the only one who didn’t comment on it at all was ironically the one that the New Kid wanted to hear from the most.

She noticed that instead of sitting at his usual spot, which was right between Stan and Kenny and facing directly across from her, Kyle sat on the other end where she could barely see his face. In fact, he barely engaged in the conversation, seldom looking up from his food. Sometimes, it seemed like he was directly avoiding her. She had been stealing glances at him since she sat down, and still, it seemed like Kyle was in his own little world.

Well, she didn't know how Kyle felt about the whole thing. But she did know for sure once person in particular would be displeased and she could already hear him gasp as he approached the table.

“Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.” Cartman shook his head, “Get out of here, New Kid. Go sit with the other girls and talk about your tampons or something.”

The New Kid rolled her eyes. She definitely expected this from Cartman. But she would be lying if she said there wasn’t a small part of her that was worried that the boys would follow suit with their group mentality.

Fortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case.

“It’s not like the New Kid changed. I think she can still play.” Token defended.

“Yes, she has, she’s a girl! The moment we let the New Kid in, we’re gonna have to let Wendy play and then all the other girls are gonna want to play and then next thing you know, we’re just gonna be one big gay superhero team!” Cartman exclaimed.

“Isn’t gayer if it’s just us guys and no girls?” Kenny wondered out loud, although as usual his voice was muffled out.

“Every superhero team has at least one girl, though!” Tweek pointed out, “Wonder Woman’s in the Justice League. There’s Supergirl in the Arrowverse and Jessica Jones for the Defenders. Captain Marvel has her own movie.”

“Oh, please, no one cares about Captain Marvel!” Cartman said. At that, the New Kid frowned and felt like pouting. She liked Captain Marvel…

“Don’t be a dick, Cartman. She’s played with us this long and no one’s ever had any problems with her. Plus, you said so yourself. She’s pretty OP.” Stan argued.

“I’m sorry, Douchebag, but there are no girls allowed. I don’t make the rules, I just say them as I want. You can’t play with us and you can’t hang out with us anymore.” Cartman declared.

For a moment there, the New Kid was ready to give up and just walk away. Maybe she can go hang sit on her own from now on. Her hands were already on her lunch tray and she was about to stand up to walk away, but for the first time today, she finally heard Kyle’s voice.

“That’s bullshit! You can’t just ban someone from playing just because you don’t want them to play, Fatass!” Kyle said angrily, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Beside him, Stan tried to suppress a grin. There were two things he was very sure of when it came to his best friend: he hated Eric Cartman and he was very fond of the New Kid. So despite Kyle’s weirdness about the New Kid’s secret, it was good to see he was the same old Kyle. He would have defended anyone against Cartman no matter who they were.

“Listen, Kyle, I’m gonna be honest, you, of all people, shouldn’t be defending the New Kid here. We’re already risking our position on Coon and Friends with you being a Jew and all, we can’t have a girl and a Jew, that would be too many minorities and we’d look like we’re just catering to the social justice warriors.” Cartman reasoned.

Kyle hit his forehead. “This is not about social justice warriors or me being a Jew! It’s about letting Riley play because she’s our friend and we want her around!”

“Who the fuck is ‘Riley'?” Cartman exclaimed, but before Kyle could call him a moron for that question alone, Tweek immediately came up with a solution.

“Hey, wait! Riley, if Cartman kicks you out, you can just join Freedom Pals!” Tweek beamed.

“Oh, fuck off! You get the New Kid and I get stuck with Cartman?” Craig complained.

“HEY!” 

“You’re just gonna have to see the New Kid on week-ends and holidays!” Tweek said.

“Timmy!” Timmy seemed more than happy with that idea. 

_‘Hmm. Shall I tell them I knew she was a girl the whole time or that it was kind of fucking obvious…?’_ Timmy pondered, but then decided to keep that little secret to himself.

“What? No!” Kyle protested, “If she walks, I’m out, too.”

Stan perked up, “Alright! If Kyle and the New Kid are Freedom Pals and if the New Kid’s in, Wendy’s sure to want to play!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Cartman said, panicking a bit. He didn’t like Kyle, but he knew damn well he can’t win a franchise with just him, Fastpass, Mosquito and Super-Craig. Not to mention, he knew that if Kyle and the New Kid walked, it was only a matter of time before they all jumped franchises: Jimmy was closer to Kyle and Timmy, Craig’s all buddy-buddy with the New Kid and still very gay for Tweek and Clyde would probably think with his dick and follow the franchise with the most girls in it which, if Doctor Timothy has his gay little SJW way, he’ll definitely get with Wendy and the New Kid, and God knows how long those two will take to bring in the rest of the girls.

Then Cartman’s Coon franchise will definitely not get picked up...

“Ugh, fine! But you better not complain about your boobs hurting during a fight!” Cartman pointed at the New Kid, finally taking a seat.

He was not happy about this. Even less happy about that shit-eating grin on the New Kid’s face, one that mirrored Kyle’s grin almost exactly. 

‘Doesn’t matter. You’ll get yours soon, New Kid. Oh, you’ll get yours, alright…’ Cartman thought to himself.

“Hey, so if the New Kid can come, does that mean Wendy can play with us?” Stan asked hopefully.

“Oh, here we fucking go…” Cartman grumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Whoa, so that happened! So, yeah, this gives a 'general view' of Stan, Kenny, Tweek, Craig and of course, Kyle's friendships with the New Kid. But I will be diving into these further with their individual chapters. Next chapter will be focused on the Tweek/Craig counselling sesh with Mr Mackey while the next chapter and after that, it will have a focus on Kyle finally speaking with the New Kid and the explanation of why things have been so awkward. After Kyle's chapter, we'll revisit the New Kid's friendship with Wendy and introducing Henrietta, which I am so excited about. When I fight using Wendy and Henrietta on the same team, some of the dialogue is just pure fanfic fodder.
> 
> If some of you are wondering why 'he' is being used as pronoun for the New Kid during the flashback, it's because the whole flashback is from Kyle's point of view and at that time, he thought he was talking to a guy.


	3. An Awkward Counselling Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The New Kid helps Tweek and Craig with their issues. 
> 
> Or rather, the New Kid gets her ass handed to her while Tweek and Craig have a DMC.
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own McDonald's. I feel like I shouldn't have to say that but for legal purposes, I'll say it anyway.

Being the quiet one meant a lot of things. It meant she could sneak up on people and listen in on their conversations without them blinking even if they did see her. It meant people were prone to tell her deep, dark secrets because…well, who would she tell? It also meant she often became the unwilling therapist to many people.

This time, it seems, to Tweek and Craig.

Now, don’t get her wrong, she adored those two and thought they were cute together. However, there’s something about playing mediator to a couple that made her uncomfortable. Maybe it was from her own experience with her parents or perhaps it was just her overall discomfort at being involved with such an intimate issue. 

But no matter what, the New Kid wanted them to see they were just stronger together so they should stop being so stubborn about it. She cared for those two idiots and honestly, she missed hanging out with both of them. Nowadays, if she hung out with one, she couldn't hang out with the other (another consequence of this stupid Civil War).

So that is how she ended up in the school gymnasium on a Saturday afternoon, sitting between Tweek and Craig and in front of Mr Mackey, trying to discuss their issues.

“So, Craig and Tweek have agreed to some counselling as long as you’re present, New Kid, m’kay. So now, Craig…what do you want to say to Tweek?” Mr Mackey

Craig rolled his eyes. “I think _he_ has some stuff he should say to me.”

“M’kay, Tweek? You wanna start, maybe?”

But Tweek just crossed his arms and looked away, “I have nothing to say if that’s his attitude!”

“…M’kay, well, maybe, uh…New Kid? Maybe you should share some of your thoughts.” 

“…” The New Kid really didn’t like this. It felt way too similar to her parents’ situations and she hated being put in the middle, figuratively and literally, in this case.

Now, Craig was a boy of logic and reason. He believed in not letting emotions get the better of him. But when it came to Tweek, it was different. Emotions were oddly difficult to keep at bay. In reality, all this fighting with Tweek just stressed him out and made him more prone to being angry and impatient. It’s weird. If being with Tweek made him emotional, it stands to say that not being would him should have grounded him more to his usual, calm self. 

Instead, Craig grew even more prone to being impatient and annoyed.

“New Kid, come on!” Craig said, exasperated. He felt bad about yelling at the New Kid, but he just couldn’t deal with her silent treatment right now. He did feel bad when he saw her flinch a bit, though.

“Hey! Don’t yell at her like that! She’s just a kid!” Tweek defended.

“We’re all just kids, genius!” 

“You know what I mean! See, this is exactly the problem!” Tweek accused, “You can’t stand when people don’t act exactly how you want them to and then you just push them away!”

“I didn’t push anyone away! I don’t know how you can say that when you’re the one who walked out on me!” Craig shot back, “And don’t tell me what to do with the New Kid! Unlike you, I actually spend time with her!” 

“Hey! I carried the New Kid around for 9 months, you don’t know her like I do!” Tweek defended.

“Oh, my God, just because you played a support character while she played a tank on _Overwatch_ for the past 9 months doesn’t mean you ‘carried’ her! And that doesn’t change the fact that you’re never around anymore because you’re always working at that damn coffee shop!” Craig said.

“Well, excuse me if some of us have to work to earn a living!”

“You don’t need to earn a living, you’re ten years old!” Craig said.

“Is it my fault if I want to invest in the future?!” Tweek argued.

‘And honestly, if I’m thinking of any future, you’re the one to blame!’ Tweek wanted to say, but didn’t. If Tweek made Craig more emotional, then it’s weird that Craig never considered that he made Tweek more logical. Sure, Tweek still stressed out a lot about so many things, but Craig often reminded him that while there is a time to stress out, there’s also a time to find a solution. 

For a while, Tweek’s been keeping a close eye on the economy and things were also so fragile and hectic, not to mention his parents constantly stressing him out with talks of businesses and the need to compete, so of course Tweek’s looking out for whatever he could do to save money, as well as whatever he could do to ensure he would be in the more successful franchise. He just didn’t want to be like his parents, constantly stressing about money to the point where it tears them apart but also affects their kid. 

It’s something Tweek would have gladly explained to Craig if Craig would have just for once prove he cared for him. Sometimes, it felt like Craig never fought for Tweek. He was always so calm and chill that Tweek often wondered if he ever really liked him or just dated him because of the whole ‘Tweek X Craig’ shipping nonsense. The thought of Craig dating him just because he thought he should hurt a lot, because Tweek wanted to be with him more than anything. To him, Craig not coming after him after he switched franchises felt like more evidence that Craig didn’t care.

But what Tweek didn’t realise is while he worried that Craig didn’t care enough, Craig always had an insecurity of Tweek leaving. Because the truth was, there were so many reasons to love Tweek: he was handsome, he was kind, patient, funny and extremely caring. Secretly, Craig always thought Tweek could do a lot better. Someone more equipped to dealing with his quirks that Craig was, someone who was capable of showing more emotions that Craig was comfortable with. He tried to be that person for Tweek and in some ways, he feels like he has. He has a lot of walls when it came to relationships but he tried to tear them down to let Tweek in. But the fear still lingered: what if one day, Tweek realised he could do better than someone like Craig? What if Craig wasn’t enough?

“….M’kay, well this isn’t really going that well.” Mr Mackey drawled awkwardly. “Listen, boys, I wanna try an exercise with you. I have some kids here to help us out...”

Next thing the New Kid knew, a plethora of kids wearing shirts like ‘resentments’, ‘expectations’, ‘accusations, ‘victimization’ and ‘withdrawal’.

Uh-oh. She knew where this was going...

“Now, you’ve got to learn to overcome all of these things, m’kay? Are you ready? GO FUCK 'EM UP! THERE THEY ARE, TWEEK AND CRAIG, GO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM! YOU, TOO, NEW KID!”

And so, that is how the New Kid came to spend what should have been an easy peasy lemon squeezy Saturday afternoon became a stressful battle with two of her friends versus a fuckton of random kids representing all the perils of a relationship.

_Really?! Was there no better way?!_

Still the New Kid did want them to sort out their issues. So, she helped them fight their 'issues'. 

At first, she expected it to be like the old days: she and Craig at the forefront while Tweek supported in the back. It was a great group dynamic but this time, there was no orginization or coordination. It seems like none of them were working like a team as they should have.

In the background, she could hear Tweek and Craig ripping on each other like kindergarteners. It was just insanity! What should have taken five minutes to take down five measly kids took fifteen minutes to defeat the last 'Expectation'. 

But then, as always, there was a deus ex machina...

“There’s always gonna be more expectations!” Mackey announced and just like that, more of the ‘Expectation’ kids entered the room.

The New Kid was getting more and more tired every second and she was front and centre, meaning all of those Expectations were going to go after her first! There were far too many of them, no way could the New Kid handle this on their own.

“Riley’s going to get hurt!” Tweek gasped, then turned to Craig, “Do something!”

Craig frowned, “Oh, always up to me to solve everything, is it? I’m not that powerful, Tweek, I can’t just fight all those Expectations on my own!”

“THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT!” Mackey shouted from the sidelines, “Your fighting is hurting everyone around you! There’s always going to be more expectations in a relationship! Now your Expectations are going to tear your New Kid apart unless you both work together!”

Like most solutions, it was one thing to hear something and another to apply it. But visual aids tended to help a lot and in this case, Craig could see both the literal and metaphorical wisdom of Mackey’s words.

So quickly, he ran by his ex’s side. “Tweek! He’s right.” 

“What?” Tweek asked, confused.

“We’re only going to get rid of those expectations if we do it together.” Craig admitted, then taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you when you said Freedom Pals was better. I should have at least tried to talk to you instead of assuming you just walked out on me. The truth is I…Most of the time, I always think you could do better than me. And seeing you walk out of Coon’s Lair, well, it kinda made it look like you were walking out on me. Made you realise you could get a better boyfriend, just like how you easily realised you could get a better franchise.”

The New Kid was glad this was finally being let out, but as kicked Victimization’s groin then jumped on another Explanation and pulling his hair, she couldn’t help but think, _'Jesus H Christ, he picks NOW to have a deep meaningful conversation!'_

It never dawned on Tweek that his own actions could have affected Craig that much. He wasn’t ashamed to admit he was tearing up a bit, because he realised he’s spent so long thinking about how Craig hurt him that he’s never even considered how he hurt Craig. And he knew damn well Craig was the kind who would never admit just how much pain he’s in. He would try to rationalise it and ignore it, not realising it was just eating him up more inside. Tweek wanted to cry suddenly. How could he have let him suffer for so long?

“I don’t want a better boyfriend, I want you!” Tweek finally said.

At that moment, literally everyone on the battle ground, including the New Kid who was currently biting the shit out of some Expectation’s arm, all stopped what they were doing and looked at Tweek.

“W-Wait no, that’s not what I meant! AH! I mean…I mean, you’re already a great boyfriend, you shouldn’t think like that! Nobody’s perfect, but you always try! Even when it would be easy to just give up on me and let me freak out, you’re always there trying to figure out ways to calm me down or help me. That means so, so much to me, Craig…” Tweek admitted, a smile reaching his face when he saw the smile on Craig’s face, too.

“And I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have expected you to just blindly follow me. But you know how me walking out on you made you think I would leave you? Well, you staying in that basement made me think you didn’t care enough about me…”

“But I do! I do care about you. I don’t show it that much, but I do.” Craig insisted. He knew it was something Tweek worried about, too. That Craig was just nonchalant about their relationship. But in all honesty, if Craig had to write down the only things he genuinely cared about, it would just be Tweek’s name, along with Stripes and maybe a little bit the New Kid even. Or a lot, given how much shit she was taking right now for them.

If only there was a way he could show Tweek that more...

“I know you do, Craig.” Tweek smiled at him, walking towards him and holding his hand, “Thank you for that."

“That was beautiful, boys…” Mackey said, wiping a tear from his eye, “NOW FUCK THE REST OF THEM UP, M’KAY?”

The New Kid wasn’t exactly sure what the hell Tweek and Craig did, but whatever they did, they managed to confuse the hell out of everyone who was just now fighting each other until they all passed out.

Just in the nick of time, too, considering the New Kid herself was about to pass out if she had to deal with any more Expectations.

“Don’t you feel better?” Mr. Mackey asked Tweek and Craig afterwards.

“Yeah, I kinda do.” Craig admitted, surprised Mackey's tactics actually worked.

"Me too!" Tweek agreed.

“I’m glad somebody does…” the New Kid said, glaring at both of them as she struggled to stand up, half-dazed from the punches and seeing stars.

“Ooh, yeah, sorry about that, New Kid. But hey, thanks for everything.” Craig said sincerely as he went to the New Kid’s side, put one arm over his shoulders, with Tweek repeating his actions on the other side, and both of them helped the New Kid walk.

“Yeah, you really helped us out!” Tweek beamed.

“Come on, New Kid. We can go to McDonald’s and we’ll get you a Happy Meal.” Craig offered with a smile.

“And get some ice for your ouchies and boo-boos. I’ll even get you ice cream!” Tweek chirped.

“Now, now, Tweek, you don’t want to spoil her.” Craig chastised.

“Well, she did just get her ass kicked so we could work out our issues.”

“Oh. Good point. Okay, ice-cream it is.”

The New Kid only glowered at the happy couple as she let them lead her.

Screw the Happy Meal, she was making them get her the largest meal possible. 

And she was definitely going to fart on them when she was done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Ah, poor New Kid. She never does get a break, does she? Lol, I can't help but laugh at the mental image of Tweek and Craig having this teary heart-to-heart while you can hear/see the New Kid taking on every one of their 'Issues' in the background. Kind of an allegory on its own really haha. 
> 
> I never really shipped Tweek and Craig that much until Put It Down. After that, their dynamics in the episode really got be thinking about their relationship and how much deeper certain insecurities can be touched on due to their different personalities. I really like the idea of both of them having their own fears but, as Mackey says, sorting it out together.
> 
> Next chapter will be Kyle's turn to speak with the New Kid. I'm tempted to sound like a Youtuber and say, don't forget to subscribe, comment and leave a kudos! If you do have the time to comment, let me know what you think of the dynamics between Creek and the New Kid and how you expect her friendships with the others to be like!


	4. An Awkward Friendship

The New Kid didn’t know it, but the night they met at Stark’s Pond, Kyle Broflovski made a promise to himself: Riley would be his friend. He’d invite him to hang out sometime. Gradually ask him to hang out with Stan and Kenny, maybe even Cartman (although that may just deter Riley more than anything).

He went to sleep rather excited at the prospect of having a new friend. South Park seldom had new people over and when there were new kids, Kyle was never close to any of them. There was just something about the New Kid that he liked a lot and told him they could easily be good friends. 

At the time, he was so sure nothing could ever make him second-guess his newfound friendship with the New Kid.

Until the day that Kyle found out that the New Kid, a.k.a Riley Rhodes, was a girl.

It had been all anyone could talk about that day in school.

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t completely confused by it all. All this time, when the New Kid came over to play _Dragon Age_. All those fart jokes. All those late-night texts. The memes of the same shows they watched, games they played, books they read. Late weekends when they would go together to Tweek’s parents’ coffee place just so they can have a place to hang out when it got too cold out. School night study sessions ending with his parents bringing them KFC. Odd nights when one of them was having a particularly difficult time at home and needed someone to talk to, they would text each other the rabbit emoji, a ‘distress signal’ for when they should meet at Stark’s Pond ASAP.

It had been so surreal to think all this time, those moments were spent with a girl. After all, he was 10. And in his 10-year-old mind, girls and boys couldn’t really be friends. At least, not in the same way he was friends with Stan and Kenny. If you liked a girl a lot, it was because you had a crush. But equally, girls you crushed on weren’t suppose to be easy to get along with like with friends. Yet here Riley was, both a girl and his close friend, and he had no idea how to deal with that. He was just so…confused by the whole thing.

So, throughout the whole day, he avoided her. He had no idea how to deal with any of this and he was so confused with what he was feeling, so he made little to no effort to talk to her about her biggest secret being revealed. Was he ashamed of his behavior? Sure. But he wasn't really sure how else to act...

If that weren't bad enough, it seems like it was obvious that he was acting oddly about the revelation, considering the messages he later got.

**Stan Marsh** : dude y r u ignoring NK? 

**Wendy Testaburger** : Riley thinks you hate her right now! > : ( you’re hurting her feelings, go talk to her!

Kyle groaned. He knew he was. And he knew damn well he was avoiding her. It was unlike him to do so, yet here he was. 

In truth, deep down, he always suspected that the New Kid was a girl. But until that wasn’t acknowledged yet, it was easier to think of him as a boy. After all, the New Kid being a boy would explain why Kyle liked hanging out with him so much. He’s a dude, so it was natural for him to feel so comfortable around him, want him around when he’s not here, or get a little jealous when he was hanging out with Butters or Craig or Tweek.

But now that the New Kid was a girl, Kyle was unsure how to feel. After all, he still wanted to hang around the New Kid. And he still liked him-er, her. But there were so many questions in his head. How did he like her? Would things be different now? Why didn’t she tell him in the first place? Did she not thought of him as a friend as much as he thought of her as one? Did she tell anyone else before him? Why would she tell that person and not him? Maybe she didn’t actually like him? Maybe she felt sorry for him? After all, their first meeting did have him complaining to her about his mother…Maybe-

Before his plethora of questions could continue, he felt his phone buzz again and quickly whipped it out, hoping for some distraction on this whole thing.

**Kenny McCormick** : did u hear?! Riley’s a girl!

**Kenny McCormick** : i mean we should have guessed with the pretty hair and all

**Kenny McCormick** : anyway do u think she’s into me? i think im gonna ask her out

Kyle’s eyes widened. Before he could even think, he began to type back furiously on his phone.

**Kyle Broflovsk** i: wat?! dude no! don’t ask her out!

**Kenny** : wat? y not?

It was only after he had already sent the message that, in reality, Kyle had absolutely no idea why he wrote that. But then again, it’s not like he wanted Kenny dating the New Kid either. Still, when it came to providing a reason as to why, Kyle was just..blank.

Kenny and the New Kid became friends after Kyle introduced her to him and they all began to hang out, but there were never any suggestions that Kenny liked the New Kid. Of course, that was before he found out she was a girl.

In hindsight, she was cute, liked video games and was fun to hang around with. Of course Kenny liked her.

Little did he know, Kenny McCormick and Stan Marsh were at Stan's house, snickering as they looked at Kenny’s phone.

“I told you!" Kenny laughed. Now, Kenny wanted to date the New Kid as much as he wanted to date Wendy, which was to say, ‘not really, especially not as long as they were his boys’ girls’. Well, technically, the New Kid wasn’t officially Kyle’s girl yet.

But in the meantime, there was no harm in messing with the guy.

Stan was just wiping tears from his eyes, “Wait, wait, keep going, see what he does next.” 

**Kyle** : just dont kenny 

**Kenny** : still not giving me a reason not to ask her out

…

**Kyle** : she’s a girl but yknow she’s one of us, it’s weird if you dated her

Right. That’s why Kyle didn’t want Kenny asking her out. It would make the group dynamics change way too much. It’s already been shook by the revelation of the New Kid being a girl, Kyle didn’t want it changing any further than it already has. 

Meanwhile, Stan snorted at the horrible excuse and Kenny just rolled his eyes.

“Dude, weak. Just give me that.” Stan took the phone from Kenny’s hand and began typing.

Kenny looked at the screen and nodded, “Ooh! That’s good, send it.” 

**Kenny** : tweek and craig r one of us and they’re dating each other and u dont think it’s weird

Oh. Kenny’s got a point there. And he knew it, too, because Kyle took ages to respond and before he did, Kenny sent another message.

**Kenny** : come on she’s a pretty girl who’s also an OP superhero she’s gonna date someone eventually

If Kyle’s being honest, he always had a weird sense of possessiveness when it came to Riley. Back when their friendship first bloomed, he felt so special thinking he was the only one who called the New Kid by their actual name. It made him think of how highly Riley regarded him. He knew she hung out with Tweek and Craig before, but he liked to think he was her closest friend. But he always worried maybe Riley would think the other guys were cooler and hang out with them more instead.

Thankfully, that never happened. But he had to admit, whenever he casually heard the New Kid was hanging out with Tweek, Craig, Stan or Kenny, a little sliver of jealousy crept up

Now that she’s a girl, he began to realise just how odd that friendship-possessiveness had been. He never felt like that if he heard Stan and Kenny were hanging out without him, or Stan and Kenny with Cartman. So now that he thinks about it, it was weird to think he felt jealousy over Riley just being as close to someone else as she was with him…

But he shook his head. He refused to dwell too much on that. He was still processing the fact that one of his best friends was a girl this whole time. He didn’t want to think about other factors...

**Kyle** : doesn’t mean it has to be u

**Kenny** : wow kyle u know if u liked her u could have just said so, no worries ; ) 

What?!

**Kyle** : NO THATS NOT IT

**Kenny** : whatever u say ; ) just remember other guys may not be as nice about it as me

**Kyle** : i am not into riley!

But that seemed to be the end of that conversation, as Kenny stopped replying even after he read Kyle’s last message.

**New Message from Riley Rhodes**

He didn’t open the message, but slid the notification to see that he-um, she had texted him the rabbit emoji.

Their personal Bat-signal. Though the New Kid never really said it out loud, there was an unspoken rule that come hell or high water, neither one would ever ignore it. He can only count on one hand the times they used this distress call and not one time had either of them failed to show up.

So, despite everything, Kyle couldn’t bring it in himself to break tradition. So he began making his way towards Starks’ Pond.

* * *

  
For a moment, walking to Stark's Pond was so familiar that he almost felt like there was no reason to feel nervous. It felt like just another day where he was going to go meet his friend. They'd talk, goof off, then go to his place to hang out. Except this wasn't like any other day since he wasn't going there for no reason.

The New Kid came into his view when he finally arrived at the pond, sitting on a bench, much like she did the first night he met her there. He remembered thinking she looked like a girl then, too. 

“Hi, Kyle.” she greeted.

Today was full of surprises.

In hindsight, no wonder she hid her laughter and her voice. Her voice was unmistakeable that of a girl’s. Not high-pitched, squeaky and annoying, but still pretty obvious she was a girl. It was, all things considered, actually a very pleasant voice. One Kyle wondered how it might sound like if she sang. 

But that thought aside, seeing the New Kid now seemed so familiar and so strange. He’s thought before that her hair was nice, but now that he knew she was a girl, it made a lot of sense why he’s thought about just how pretty her hair looked when snow fell on it. 

“Hey…” he said. He usually liked saying her name a lot. Now, it felt like meeting someone for the first time ever.

“I’m sorry I made you believe I was a boy.” she finally blurted quickly, taking a deep breath afterwards. When she did, Kyle could feel just how long she’s been wanting to say it. From the way her eyes slightly widened when she finished talking, it seems as if she, too, hadn’t heard her own voice in a long time. “My parents…” 

She didn’t have to continue. Kyle and her have spoken (or at least, messaged) to each other enough to know the New Kid's parents were…peculiar. They wanted her to be hidden, stay in the background, never get noticed at all. 

Ironically, them trying so hard to keep her hidden was probably the worst mistake they could make. When someone tries so hard to be unremarkable, their secrets will eventually pour out one way or another and when it did, it will be all anyone can talk about for days. They might as well have painted a target on the New Kid's back.

Knowing her, Kyle had a hard time believing she deceived everyone just for kicks, so he took a wild guess...

“This whole thing was an accident, wasn’t it? People just assumed you were a boy and they told you to go along with it.” Kyle concluded.

She nodded. He noticed this whole time, her hands had been clutching her coat around her collar and she had been lowering her face downwards, almost as if she was trying to hide her face through her coat. She looked shy. The New Kid may have been quiet, but weirdly enough she never struck him as shy. 

“I would have kept your secret, you know.”

“I know.” she simply answered, her head hung low. “We can stop hanging out if you want"

Kyle’s eyes widened, “What? Dude, no!” 

The New Kid raised her eyebrow curiously. “You don’t care that I’m a girl?"

Well, that was a whole other question altogether, now wasn’t it? But it was one box Kyle didn’t want to open right now.

“Look, I’m not angry, at all. I’m a little upset, yeah, and shocked and a little confused, yeah, but I’m not mad at you.” he assured her. “I guess it just sucks to feel like you couldn’t trust me enough to say it, even though I get why."

The New Kid’s face fell again. Obviously, it was never her intention to hurt anyone. She especially never wanted Kyle to think she didn’t trust him enough, because she did. After all, she’s already told him too much: about her parents, their secrecy, their refusal to share any real information about why they move so much…

Still, hiding your gender is a pretty big thing. And at their age, the New Kid can only imagine the confusion they go through. Her mom once told her little boys are weird and can’t really think that straight when it comes to dealing with other little girls, which is why they may act weird sometimes. She didn’t want any of them to act weird about what was going on.

“I do trust you.” she says, although she knows it's not much consolation when considering her lies. “No more lies.” 

Kyle raised his eyebrow. “You swear?” 

The New Kid nodded quickly, putting a hand over her heart and crossing it. As for Kyle, he couldn’t help but sigh, completely relieved. 

But now, it was his turn to apologize. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t know what to think about you being a girl, so all day I’ve just been avoiding you. I should have talked to you as soon as I heard. I acted like a coward.” 

“But you stood up for me.” the New Kid reminds him of earlier. “That was brave.”

“Um, yeah, I mean, it’s not like I would have ever let Cartman just kick you out like that. But yeah, thanks…”

At that, Kyle felt himself turn red, especially with the way that the New Kid looked at him. The Human Kite isn’t exactly Superman, and the New Kid was far from being the Lois Lane type. But with the way she was looking at him, like she really believed in him, he couldn’t help but think that this was the first time he felt like he was an actual superhero: ready to fight bad guys, save the world and get the girl…

Not that he wanted to get any girl specifically! Okay, she’s staring at him and expecting him to react.

“Hey, we have a few hours before we have to meet up at the U-Stor-It tonight. Wanna kill some time with this?” he quickly said, realising he had a good excuse to change the subject. Her jaw dropped when she saw him take out of his backpack the newest Chinpokomon game that she, Stan and Kenny were talking about earlier. 

He didn’t really have to ask. In reality, when he bought it last week, he still wasn’t into Chinpokomon as much as his friends were. But then he remembered that the New Kid was obsessed with it, as evidenced by her secret Rabbitech doll she hid in her backpack.

And just like that, they were back to normal. Obviously, there were differences. Although she still wasn’t the chattiest person, the New Kid now spoke to him every once in a while. The occasional comment, the verbal explanation, the loud laugh. The New Kid had an odd knack of speaking to people through her facial expressions alone. But it was nice putting a voice to the face. Kyle felt closer to his friend and things just seemed so bright compared to how confused he felt earlier.

Truth is, Kyle wasn’t really sure what to make of Riley. He wasn’t sure what to say about the fact that he really didn’t like the idea of Kenny asking her out. Those things, those feelings, were just too confusing to analyse and deal with and the reality is, both he and Riley have a lot on their plates already with the whole weirdness happening around South Park.

Whatever he was feeling, it would just have to wait for him to figure things out. Right now, all he knew for certain was he didn’t want to lose Riley as his friend. And so, he wouldn’t. 


	5. An Awkward Friday Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Kid and Wendy take a trip to the mall and meet a new friend, as well as the beginning of an odd mystery.

The New Kid always thought what you wear says a lot about your identity, which may be why she so longed to explore different clothes. Due to her parents’ wishes of her staying unremarkable, she often stayed wearing dull colored clothes, never anything beyond black or grey or blue. The whole thing was frustrating, especially when the New Kid kept a secret notebook where she kept all magazine-cut outs of trendy outfits.

Her parents liked to give her very ‘normal’ clothes, which meant a lot of bland sweaters and jeans and sneakers. 

The closest thing that truly expressed who she was was her superhero costume. She liked her costume. Bebe’s design for her witch costume was basically followed from head to toe, except she added a cat instead of a heart at the centre (a tribute to her favorite antihero, Catwoman) and the dress itself was white instead of purple, but still kept Bebe’s original red trims on the dress. Sometimes, she switched it up but always kept the circlet on her head, deciding it would be her ‘signature look’.

In hindsight, she wondered if this was Bebe’s subtle way of telling her, ‘I know you’re a girl’. But the odds of that were slim, given how everyone thought she was a boy even when she dressed up as a girl during their whole Stick of Truth game. 

“What do you think, Riles?” Wendy asked holding up a blue dress against herself. A blue dress with horrible puffy sleeves and a gaudy chain necklace attached to it. 

The New Kid’s face scrunched up and she approached Wendy, took the dress from her hands and ripped off the sleeves and necklace.

“Hey, what are you-Oh…” Wendy stopped herself when she realised the vast improvement. In hindsight, she had no idea what she was thinking with the other dress. “Okay, that is pretty! But what shoes should I…”

Before she even finished her sentence, the New Kid handed her white shoes, two pearl earrings and a pretty white headband.

“Wow, Riley, I didn’t realise you had such a cute sense of style!” Wendy said in awe, but then she looked at her friend’s plain grey shirt and jeans. “No offense, but then why do you always wear the same things?”

The New Kid frowned, “Parents. And don’t know what I like.” 

“See, this is why you can’t just hang out with boys!” Wendy exclaimed, “You and I are going to the mall, ASAP.” 

Next thing she knew, she was going to the mall with her friend. 

On the bus ride there, the New Kid realised that everyday, she’s starting to memorize every inch of South Park like the back fo her hand. Passing by Raisins, Buca di Faggocini, then Jimbo’s Guns, it reminded her that she’s never been in one place long enough to even remember how to get back home from school. Now, she could name at least five different ways to get to school from home. Every face is starting to look familiar, when it used to be the only faces she could recognise all the time were that of NPCs in her games.

The thought of being so fond and familiar of one place was both thrilling and concerning. This could all go away one day. After all, since she was born, she can’t remember living anywhere longer than two years. It’s a little over a year now since she’s moved to South Park and the clock was ticking. Part of her hopes she can stay, especially now that she’s learned and revealed so much about herself. 

But it was useless to worry about what may or may not happen. So instead, she takes a deep breath and appreciates the fact that she can even memorise a town for so long. Even now, as the South Park mall came to her view, she could already visualise every store in the exact order she’ll see them in. It’s how she knows that Wendy will direct her to the nearest clothes’ store, which was the fourth store to the left.

She’s been in clothes stores before but because she never really went there to go shopping, she feels stumped as she sees an abundance of colours and for the first time, realises just how much options there were: shirts, sweaters, tank-tops, pants, shorts, skirts, dresses, colorful, black or white, wool, cotton, silk…

If it hadn’t been for Wendy, she feels like she could have easily fainted or been too overwhelmed with all the choices. But then Wendy shows up with a pile full of clothes that was easily taller than both of them combined.

“So, you said you don’t know what you like. I’ve got some ‘general’ style kind of clothes to start and we can see which set style you like and go from there!” she suggests.

And so they do. Wendy waits patiently on a stool as she watches the New Kid come out in many styles: from all-black goth, skater girl casual, pretty in pink, geek chic and even preppy trendsetter. The result was: the New Kid hated monochromes, dark colors or normal shoes. She loved pan collars, stripes and boots. 

“Ooh, look! Riley, this color matches a certain superhero, don’t you think?” Wendy grinned, holding up a buttoned coat that was the same reddish pink color as her superhero persona’s circlet.

She found a nice little headband which reminded her of fall with its dark orangey color. She noticed pretty much every kid had a signature hair accessory: Cartman’s blue and yellow beanie, Stan’s red and blue beanie, Kyle’s green hat, Kenny’s hood, even Wendy had her pink beret. Finally getting some sort of hair accessory almost felt like a right of passage was being completed.

So, she didn’t even look at the price tag when she immediately bought the clothes. Her clothes that she chose! She knows her parents will have a heart attack when she sees the new clothes. Probably go into a straight aneurysm when they see how much she’s spent. But at the moment, she can’t find herself to care much!

All she can think about was how normal this all felt. She was a normal little girl, hanging out and shopping at the mall with her friend and they had bags full of clothes they don’t really need with receipts written with numbers far too high. But for the first time ever, she feels glamorous. Even if all she did was change her clothes. She feels pretty and girly and excited.

“You’re looking great!” Wendy beams with pride, thinking of how different the New Kid looked. Not just the clothes, but just the way she was smiling. 

The more stores they visited, the more different she looked: in the first clothes store, she got the reddish-pink coat, a dress that matched the coat’s color to wear underneath and headband that Wendy showed her. In the accessories store next door, she bought autumn-y tights that matched her headband. Clyde’s dad recognised them at the shoe store and got them free shoes, where she got brown boots. Finally, they both got their hairs done. For the first time, she got a haircut by someone other than her mom. It was still long, but now with layers, shined with product and given a wavy texture. 

If anyone mistook her for a boy before, there was no chance of that happening now.

“Your hair looks great!” Wendy complimented. 

The New Kid beamed, “I feel like a Disney princess.” 

Wendy laughed, delighted how happy the New Kid was. She could tell this was the first time she ever did anything like this. “So, where do you want to go next?”

She thinks it over and at first, she wants to see other shops for more clothes. But they’ve spent enough money and she figures that it’s Wendy’s turn to buy something now.

“Where do you want to go?” she asked her.

“Me? Oh, well…” Wendy’s cheeks begin to turn pink, “It’s a bit nerdy, but I was hoping to get a few copies of the Economist from the bookstore. They don’t really let 10-year-olds buy subscriptions, so-“

To her surprise, she doesn’t need to justify it any further. The New Kid doesn’t even stop to think just how weird it is that someone her age is in a mall full of toys and clothes and she’s looking at books. The New Kid just grabs her arm and drags her to South Park’s only bookstore Watersmith's, no questions asked.

Wendy forgets sometimes just how un-judgemental the New Kid could be. But it made sense: in an age where people’s opinions of you were crucial, the New Kid didn’t really care that she was thought to be weird or even a boy. She never seemed to let that stop her from having fun. If anything, Wendy smiles, thinking back to when she was with her friends and she was always too nervous to ask to go to the bookstore.

Bookstore were a dying breed nowadays. People read less and the people who did read used e-books. Not that Wendy couldn’t see the practicality of an e-book, of course, but she was a purist when it came to books and nothing could replace the scent of a brand new book. 

But there was a slight upside to empty bookstores: the guarantee that no one she knew would be there. Wendy was probably one of the most easily criticised students in South Park and rumors so easily followed her. If people knew she religiously went to bookstores, there would be accusations of her being ‘too pretentious’ or ‘too uptight’. But no one ever went to these things to know, anyway. 

Right now, for instance, as she looked around, she only saw a handful of people in the large store. But you could practically see the cobwebs, it was that empty. 

She glances at the New Kid, worried the New Kid would say something about it being a dump and not being able to believe that Wendy dragged her there. But to her surprise, the New Kid’s already picked up what looked like a Wonder Woman comic book. A sigh of relief escapes her and she flips through the politics section, but then she spots a familiar face a bit further in the horror section.

“Hey, I think that girl goes to our school, right?” Wendy asked, pointing towards a goth girl.

Instead of answering her, the New Kid just gave a big smile and began waving her arms in the air, “Hi, Henrietta!"

Wendy was certainly caught off-guard with the familiarity between the two. Sometimes, she forgets that while she may be the New Kid’s closest girl friend, the New Kid runs around South Park so much that in reality, she’s probably one of the most recognised kids among both kids and the adults. It was funny since up until recently, no one knew her name, gender, race, ethnicity or any background whatsoever. 

“New Kid.” Henrietta greeted, eyeing up the girl next to her. Up to now, she assumed the New Kid only hung out with boys. To see her hanging out with the Queen of Preps was certainly a surprise. “New look?”

“Yeah, all brand new!” the New Kid chirped, giving a little twirl to show everything off. “What do you think?”

“I think you’ve bought into the idea that materialistic objects brings us any form of joy even though it’s just a tool for capitalism to grow.” Henrietta drawled. But then she saw that look on the New Kid’s face and she remembered instantly how that kid perfected the puppy-dog look. “…But you look good, New Kid.” 

“Thanks!” the New Kid smiled, “Anyways, this is Wendy!” 

Beside her, Wendy gave a friendly wave.

“I know. Our dear old school president.” she says with a sarcastic drawl that makes Wendy wonder if she had done something to her to make her dislike her. Then Wendy remembers she’s hardly ever liked by the majority of the school population, so her surprise, as well as her offense, wanes. “Didn’t figure you to be the mall type, New Kid.”

The New Kid just raises her eyebrow at Henrietta, expressing the mutual sentiment.

“Okay, I’m only going to the mall to grab the new Stephen King book, obviously.” 

“Oh, yeah, you know, it’s been out as an e-book for a while now.” Wendy offers helpfully.

“Only posers use Kindles. I prefer to enjoy literature the way true artists used to.” Henrietta said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Right…” Wendy said uncomfortably. She would have liked to tell Henrietta that she agreed, but she gets the feeling that she wouldn’t have cared much.

It was, of course, an awkward moment. After all, it was clear that the older goth girl had no interest in befriending Wendy, yet she didn’t seem to hate the New Kid. But if the New Kid was aware of the tension, she was either a very good actress or just didn’t care about it, because her face was totally blank. To Henrietta’s credit, she didn’t seem to care either.

“So, how do you two know each other?” Wendy asked after a long period of silence.

“Casa Bonita.” they answer simultaneously.

“‘Casa Bonita’…?”

“New Kid and I kicked some vamp ass.” Henrietta says with what may be a smile and a hint of pride in her voice. 

“Ken-Er, Mysterion was protecting Karen McCormick from turning into a vampire.” the New Kid explains further.

“We managed to turn her into a goth instead.” Henrietta adds, this time, pride was definitely in her voice.

“Then Michael Jackson happened. Was a long day.” the New Kid says casually.

Wendy opened her mouth, about to ask what the hell they were talking about. Then she remembers that she lived in South Park and honestly? Stranger things have happened. So she just lets it slide and nods.

“Speaking of vamp kids, New Kid…” Henrietta mentions, “I’m also here for another reason: I heard their leader mention yesterday that they’ve been going to this bookstore a lot. I got curious because those vamp posers never buy anything other than those shitty Twilight books.”

“Maybe they’re just broadening their taste?” Wendy suggests.

“No way, there’s something off about this whole thing. The vamp kids are being really secretive and I don’t like it.” Henrietta says firmly, but then that fire in her eyes seems to turn into complete annoyance. “None of the guys believe me. They don’t trust my instincts anymore ever since I was turned emo that one time.”

Again, Wendy had questions. But she didn’t ask.

“But whatever, I don’t need them to figure this out.” Henrietta then looked keenly at the New Kid with newfound interest, “New Kid. I helped you with your boyfriend’s sister back at Casa Bonita…”

“Not my boyfriend.” 

“Was that Mysterion kid not that green-hat kid you hang with so much?” Henrietta asked, “I mean, you conformists all look the same in your little outfits. But anyway, I helped you guys out, now I’m cashing in a favor back. Help me find out what’s going on.”

“Uh...” Wendy began, but before she could point out the futility in finding out the reason for why the vamp kids, of all people, are acting ‘weird’, the New Kid began to look around the bookstore for any clues.

_‘Well, I guess I do have my magazines…’_ Wendy thought as she flipped through the magazines in her hands. So, she shrugged and followed the New Kid. Who knows? With all the crazy stuff that happens here, they’re bound to find something interesting.

Now, the New Kid and Henrietta weren’t frequent shoppers of Watersmith’s. Most people weren’t. So if there were any new additions to the store, it would slip by without anyone noticing at all. But for Wendy, it only took one look around to spot something that was very out of place.

The truth is, if Wendy hadn’t accompanied the New Kid that day, they might have never come close to finding out what they did that day. Wendy never realised just how much she had set things in motion that day when she uttered eight innocent words.

“Since when does Watersmith's have an upstairs floor?” 

Both the New Kid and Henrietta raised their eyebrow when they found a green door deep in the corner of the store next to the ‘travel’ section (which, let’s be honest, was the least frequented section in any bookstore). 

“Was that not there before?” Henrietta asks, suspicion in her voice.

To that, Wendy shakes her head. “But there’s nothing weird about a new floor. They could be expanding or maybe it ties to another store.” 

But the New Kid looks at the store opposite Watersmith’s…it was the clothes’ store she and Wendy were in. So, if her memory was correct, upstairs was the video game store EV Games and she knew that store like the back of her hand thanks to her very first time playing with the South Park kids, when she partook in a console wars right before their quest to protect the Stick of Truth. 

She knew for a fact there was no tie-in to Watersmiths or any other store, because Eric Cartman had scouted that store to check for any exits or any way into the store. And when cheap Black Friday consoles were on the line, she very much doubted that Cartman missed a secret hidden entrance through the Watersmith’s.

“No way that ties to the upstairs store.” the New Kid says with as much certainty as Wendy did when she claimed that door wasn’t there before.

Before Wendy or Henrietta could even say anything, the New Kid began to walk towards the mysterious door. She tilted her head, confused. The closer she got, the more she felt like it shouldn’t be there. Her instincts were screaming at her, something was definitely odd about this place.

“We can’t go in, though.” Wendy sighed.

But the New Kid shrugged. “Keep an eye out.” she orders.

“What are you-“ Henrietta began, then out of nowhere, the New Kid whips out a screwdriver and a hair pin and squeezes them into the keyhole.

Instinctively, both she and Wendy looked around to see if anyone was looking. Predictably, there was only two other people in the store who were barely paying attention to the girls: the cashier and whoever that perv was looking at the ‘adult’ section.

“Wait, isn’t that Stan’s dad?” Wendy commented.

The sound of a click quickly followed, as well as the swinging of a door. Without pause, the New Kid immediately went in, followed by Henrietta, then a reluctant Wendy.

“…I guess we’re going in, then.” she says as she followed them.

None of them knew what they were expecting. But they sure as hell were not expecting this.

“What the fuck?” Henrietta’s eyes bulged. 

Henrietta’s not exactly a stranger to creepy things: she’s studied every first-hand encounter with the paranormal known to man, browses every deep web creepy story, read old myths and legends from every corner of the world about unworldly creatures, listens to audios rumored to be recording real-life exorcisms and seen all kinds of scary videos that would make any normal 11-year-old forgo sleep forever. But call her desensitised, badass or deeply disturbed, it never truly phased her.

But even she had to admit there was something deeply unnerving about this place. First of all, how hidden it was. They did, after all, come from a very colorful bookstore to an oddly dark, tiny room. But the secrecy of a door in an abandoned location (well, a bookstore, close enough) was suspicious. Especially when this door had an ‘upstairs’ sign but was in reality just another room.

However, it was the presence of hundreds of cameras, all pointing to different houses, that made this whole thing even more eerie. Henrietta saw her house first: the blue layout was so easily recognisable and she could see the unmistakable window to her dark-walled room, which had the curtains open (no doubt her mom went into her room again, ugh, that skank). Then she recognised Michael, Pete and Firkle’s houses. She even noticed little newcomer goth Karen’s Sodasopa home. At some point, she even sees Pete coming out of his house to take out the trash.

Actually, looking around, everyone was moving in these frames. Wendy recognised her house, Stan’s, Bebe’s…the New Kid, having been to literally everyone’s houses, recognised all of them. On one frame, she could see Tweek coming out of his coffee house and meeting Craig. In another, poor Butters was being scolded by Mr. Stotch. Finally, she could see Kyle with Stan, Cartman and Kenny on the bus stop.

She wasn’t sure, but Wendy took her phone out and sent a message to Stan. Only a second later, they all watched as the camera showing the boys also showed Stan looking at his phone.

For a second, they just watched: the dark room lit by nothing other than the screens, showing private, everyday, intimate moments of ordinary people. No other sound than the dim, electrical hums of the TVs. Somehow, Henrietta felt this was eerier than anything she's ever seen on the internet. 

“These are…live.” Wendy said, barely able to register what she was seeing.

“No shit, Princess.” Henrietta comments, but she knows her anger is more placed at the fact that her and her friends were being fucking monitored, “But why?”

The first thing the New Kid did was look around for any clues. So far, every wall was basically covered with a small screen that showed every house, building or park in South Park. Nothing else in this empty room except…

“What’s that?” she asks as she points to an odd-looking altar with a single, thick book on top of it. It looked like that thing Father Maxi put the Bible on top of, only it didn’t look so holy.

“This is a book on the occult...” Henrietta recognised that book. She’s seen so many occult books in her life, given how that’s her every request everytime she had a birthday or Christmas gift. Some were genuine, others obviously written by conformists who didn’t know what they were talking about. But the symbols she saw and the figures drawn that she could see from flipping pages, it was obvious what it was.

But she’s never seen one like this. For one, it wasn’t written in any language she could recognise and she actually knew a lot of languages (the desire to understand darkness was actually a pretty good motivator for taking up online courses). It didn’t even look close to any symbol or text she’d ever seen before, which made the whole thing both intruiguing and annoying.

“I don’t recognise it at all…that’s not normal.” Henrietta said, genuinely puzzled and surprised.

“What do you mean?” Wendy asked.

“For one, it’s not written in any language I can recognise and I know a lot about occult languages. It’s not in English, French, German, Irish, traditional Chinese, Latin, Greek, Anishinaabe, Futhark or in Cthulu text.” Henrietta explained.

Wendy’s eyes widened, “You read in all of those languages?”

Henrietta scoffed in response, “Try read and speak. You have to know how to speak it in order to do the incantations.”

“Sure, sure, makes sense.” the New Kid muttered.

“That’s actually really impressive, Henrietta. I only know a little bit of Spanish from school.” Wendy admitted.

“Yeah, I only speak fluently French, Vietnamese, Filipino and Italian.” the New Kid said with nonchalance. 

“Wait, what?!” Wendy said with surprise. Man, did she not know the New Kid nearly as well as she thought she did. 

Henrietta ignored her, “This is weird. It doesn’t even look close to any language.”

“Maybe it’s a very uncommon language?” the New Kid offered, the interest beginning to peak in her, too.

“Possibly. Oh, there’s no way I’m leaving this here now.” Henrietta said, grabbing the book with her.

“Wait! Guys, I don’t like this…secret places in malls, weird books and cameras set all over? I don’t think it’s a good idea to steal anything.” Wendy reasoned.

“Cameras are looking at _our_ houses.” the New Kid reminded her. “Means they’re looking at my family, your family, Henrietta’s, Kyle’s…Stan’s.”

At the mention of her family and her boyfriend's name, Wendy bit her lip. She wanted them all to be safe from danger, that was true. South Park on its own was crazy enough but add in the possibility that someone, somewhere was watching them for whatever reason?

“Fine…” she acquiesced.

“But this needs to be a secret.” the New Kid decides. She knows a little thing or two about secrets. She also knows that letting secrets go too far could result in people getting hurt.

Besides, there was a deep, dark suspicion that whatever this was tied back to her. Not just the zaniness in South Park, but was it a coincidence that her house was on the very centre of the screens? And was it a coincidence that the more central screens all showed places she frequented very often? Kyle, Stan and Cartman’s house, Stark’s Pond, Tweek’s coffeehouse, school? 

Wendy nodded, “Agreed. This is serious stuff and the less people know about it, the better. At least until we’re sure of what’s happening. That means you can’t tell your fellow goths, Henrietta.” 

“Ugh, fine. But only because you make a good point, not because I’m actually listening to your rules.” Henrietta clarified as she quickly tucked the book in her bag.

Before they left, the New Kid made sure to take pictures of the place really quick. You never know if it would ‘miraculously disappear’ next time they went looking for it.

As they left, they didn’t even need to worry about not being seen by anyone, given how no one was looking at them.

If you had told Henrietta that on a Friday afternoon, she would be leaving a bookstore with the Queen of Preps and South Park's very own El from _Stranger Things_ , keeping a secret that could have a huge impact on all of South Park, she would have never believed you.

But these two were…interesting, to say the least. Doesn’t mean she likes either of them.

She didn’t have many girl friends. And as she saw a group of girls wearing a uniform, she began to remember why she avoided girls in the first place: several of the Raisins girls heading their way back from the food court, all holding sodas. It’s no secret that the Raisins girls were pains and for some reason, they had a special vendetta against the New Kid.

“Ooh, look what we have here! The princess, the basket case and the criminal!” Mercedes, the Raisins’ ringleader, smirked, looking at Wendy, Henrietta and Riley.

At that last monicker, the New Kid couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Jesus, you fart on a few people, then everyone acts like you're OJ…” 

“Whatever, New Kid. Everyone knows you’re just a lame, weird, farting loser who only plays superheroes ‘cause that’s the only way guys will ever be around you.” Mercedes sneered. 

“Yes. Can't genuinely like superheroes myself. Only doing it for the D, of course.” Riley said with such sarcasm and in such a monotone voice that it would have made Craig proud.

“Obviously! And you…” she looked at Wendy, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you’re a hater! Going around calling everyone ugly isn’t gonna make you any prettier, Wendy!”

As ever, Wendy tried very hard to be diplomatic about this whole thing. “Ladies, aren’t we a little too mature to be insulting each other?” 

“And you, seriously?” the Raisins girl began with Henrietta. “Fat, ugly and hid-"

She never did get to finish her sentence, because the New Kid literally just somehow threw a fart.

It was gross, but Henrietta couldn’t help but smirk at those preps’ reactions to it. They all seemed simultaneously dazed and disgusted

“There’s a dark magic inside of you, New Kid.” Henrietta said approvingly.

“Ugh, you gross little bitch!” Mercedes sneered and immediately retaliated by throwing the contents of her soda on the New Kid.

Normally, the New Kid couldn’t care less about stuff being thrown on her. But today was…the first day she ever felt pretty. Now, the mermaid-like waves in her hair were now covered in sugary soda, her clothes were now drenched and the magic was all gone. If she could remember how to to, she’s pretty sure she would have cried. 

Beside her, Wendy’s jaw dropped. “…Oh, no, she didn’t.” 

Even Henrietta glared at them. Before she could say anything about it, in a blink of an eye, the uptight class president, the prep princess, South Park’s resident goody two-shoes, immediately pounced on Mercedes.

“Get off her, freak!” one of the redheaded Raisins girls screamed as she pushed Wendy off.

“Leave her alone!” the New Kid said as she charged and practically tackled the redhead on the ground.

“Well. I might as well help.” Henrietta said as she took a huge puff of her cigarette and immediately blew it on a few Raisins girl's face. "Let's see what you look like with all that make-up melted off."

It was a full-on chaos after that: four Raisins girls against South Park's unlikely unholy alliance. Those Raisins girls were scrappy, but nothing compared to the New Kid, Call Girl or…er, Henrietta, who have all faced sixth graders, crab people, old people, rednecks and ninjas.

Eventually, the fight was lost when Henrietta decided to play with fire. Literally. She blew smoke and lit it on fire.

“Let’s leave these losers and get out, I can’t get afford to get my hair singed!” they yelled as they immediately ran away.

In the end, the New Kid, Henrietta and Wendy blinked at each other. It was definitely a surreal moment. A few weeks ago, these three girls only knew each other by name, yet here they were, on the ground, hairs frizzy, outfits a bit ruffled and faces bruised, after a fight where they all defended each other. It was odd how they didn’t even think twice about it.

“Luckily for you posers, I enjoy pain so I stepped in.” Henrietta commented before asking, “Everybody still alive?”

“Fine…Riles?” Wendy said as she dusted herself off, then turned to the girls beside her.

Both of their eyes turned to the New Kid, who wasn’t exactly hurt any more than she was when she played superhero, but still looked more defeated than any of them have ever seen her: her shoulders slumped, frowned lips and eyes showing more sadness than they ever saw before.

She didn’t answer. Instead she looked down at her drenched hair, torn sleeves, the ripped tights, the headband now split in two. Only thing salvageable was the dress and boots.

_‘Guess it’s too good to be true.’_ the New Kid thought to herself.

“Oh, Riley…” Wendy sighed sadly, “I’m so sorry. We can buy it again?”

“No more money.” the New Kid admitted, as she literally spent all her money on this new outfit alone.

Henrietta looked at the New Kid up and down. As a goth, Henrietta knew that how you dressed did reflect who you were inside and she knew the frustration of not being able to express yourself. She didn’t know much about the New Kid, but she did know that today, the New Kid seems to have stepped out of her shell a bit. She had no doubt those new clothes, despite Henrietta think they were too Barbie-doll for her taste, had a lot to do with it.

Now, she enjoyed pain. But she wasn’t a big fan of misery (yes there’s a difference). Once again, those puppy-dog eyes didn't help much. 

Henrietta sighed. She was going to regret this. 

“New Kid, come with me. You too, Princess.” 

And that’s how Henrietta ended up going shopping with Wendy and the New Kid. More specifically, ended up paying for a second set of the New Kid’s outfit…and a few extra clothes.

And paid for cheeseburgers, fries and a milkshake at the food court for both the New Kid and Wendy.

“You really didn’t have to, Henrietta!” the New Kid smiled as she re-admired her new headband again. “Thank you!”

“Yeah, this was really generous!” Wendy said as she bit into a cheeseburger that Henrietta insisted on paying for. Well, more like she gave a credit card to the cashier before Wendy could even get her wallet out.

“Whatever, it's not like I'm the one really paying. My stupid bitch of a mom is since I'm using her card, so it doesn't matter.” Henrietta shrugged it off. "I guess I sort of owed you guys since you had my back with those bimbos." 

“I’m not sure what their problem is. I know they have history with Clyde but the New Kid refused to help Clyde when he didn’t want to pay for his tab and the Raisins girls even seemed to be thankful towards her! I can’t figure out why they’ve been antagonising her so much.” Wendy said, looking at the New Kid. “It’s weird. You’ve got so many followers, people seem to want to hang out with you, yet you also got a lot of people who want to kill you.” 

“Universally loved and hated. Just like Mary Shelley’s ‘ _Frankenstein_ '.” Henrietta mused, “New Kid, what is up with that?”

The New Kid shrugged. It didn’t seem very unusual to her. All her life, it’s always been that way: for every close friend she had, a hateful enemy would pop up. She never really questioned it until now. Now that she thought about it, when she looks at the other kids, none of them seemed to provoke such a big reaction from people.

What a mystery…

“I say, embrace it, New Kid. If you're making people suffer, then good, they probably deserve it. It's kind of badass, really.” Henrietta reasoned. 

“Er…That’s one way to put it.” Wendy said. 

“Doesn’t matter.” the New Kid shrugged, then began to muse over the day’s events, “Today’s been…a lot.”

“No kidding. Shopping, hidden cameras, cults, catfights…” Wendy listed. “Or as we say around here, just another Friday.” 

Henrietta sniggered, “Glad to see I’m not the only one who noticed how weird this town is.”

“Weirder these days.” the New Kid commented. South Park was the kind of place that had its quiet moments (very, very rarely), its less quieter moments, its crazy moments a lot of the times and batshit crazy just as often. Usually, when it was batshit crazy, it was an accumulation of events that would eventually lead to an epic grand finale.

All three girls noticed this and they all thought the same thing: they may just be in the middle of another batshit crazy adventure.

And as Wendy’s eyes trailed towards the New Kid, she had a feeling she would play a bigger role than anyone expected. But that was a mystery to solve for another day. Right now, Wendy was just enjoying a Friday night with her new girlfriends.

“You know, Henrietta, I gotta admit, you are a lot more perceptive than I thought you were.” Wendy said.

Henrietta didn’t know much about her school president, but it didn’t take a genius to know that that was a compliment from her.

“Yeah, Princess, you’re not so bad yourself. Didn’t think you had it in you to push a girl into a fountain. You seem like my kind of bitch.” Henrietta mused.

Wendy simply grinned. “Remind me to tell you what happened to that teacher we used to have, Ms Ellen.” 

“…Wait, what?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I’ve read loads of female OCs hating on Wendy which doesn’t make much sense since Wendy is adorable and canonically likes the New Kid. I got inspired by the scene in Stranger Things where Max and El make an unlikely friendship, especially since I was so worried they were gonna go for ‘girl hates on other girl’ bs that shows/movies so love to promote. In this house, we support female friendships! I got the idea for a New Kid/Wendy/Henrietta friendship when I accidentally basically chose an those two plus Mintberry to fight against a bunch of Raisins girls and found their banter was pretty interesting. In fact, some of the dialogue here are direct quotes from the game itself.
> 
> Also, if anyone's wondering, yes the whole 'secret room' does have a purpose. I added an original plot which will serve as a plot B for now, but it will tie to the overall story along with the FBW story.
> 
> Fun Fact: I knew I wanted Riley to have a red/pink/orange scheme and inspiration for this color scheme/outfit actually came from me playing Pokemon Sword. 
> 
> Fun Fact 2: originally, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were in this chapter for a while, witnessing the fight and Cartman enjoying all of it basically, with Kyle and Stan being concerned over our gal pals. But I cut their parts because A) I wanted to have a girl-centric chapter because there’s plenty of chapters that let the boys shine and B) because their scene, while fun, felt a bit forced and shoehorned in.
> 
> Fun Fact 3: the chapter has references to the Black Friday/A Song of Ass and Fire/Titties and Dragon episode, as well as the Casa Bonita DLC on the FBW game. 


	6. An Awkward Civil War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War never changes. 
> 
> Neither does the New Kid's life, it seemed.

In every war, you get the hero, the defeated and the victim.

Why did the New Kid often feel like she was all three at once?

Now, don't get her wrong: the New Kid wasn’t a little bitch. So when she fights sixth graders who throw pee at her, she doesn’t flinch, even when she has to explain to her mother why her clothes smelled like piss. When she has Raisins girls call her mean names, she merely retaliates with her fists. Even when her own friends fight her in their games (man do these kids take games seriously), she just gives as good as she gets.

Whatever anyone’s feelings for the New Kid, that’s one thing that was certain: she never let anything get to her, and it was admirable to some, borderline psychopathic for others. 

But even heroes had the right to bleed. Just because the New Kid wasn’t exactly fond of displaying emotions on the outside doesn’t mean she didn’t have them.

She’s said (or at least thought) it before, and she’ll say/think it again: the civil war between Coon Friends and Freedom Pals was stupid. First of all…it was obvious that not everyone was going to get their own movie. Some would just have to settle for a Netflix series, which is so much better than the DC alternative of a shitty CW show. Some heroes can just stand alone on one movie, others need more time to build up. With her being a girl and all, honestly, it’s a miracle Cartman’s even offering her her own show, even if she knows it is only because Cartman probably realised keeping her on is more to his advantage. Who knows if Freedom Pals’ side would even give her anything more than a cameo?

But secondly, this whole war made playing a lot less fun. It separated her from Stan, Tweek and Kenny. Not that she didn’t appreciate playing with Kyle and Craig, but the whole point of playing superheroes was that it was a fun thing to play with groups. Watching them fight and argue during lunch and after school was tiring. 

The New Kid grew up with superhero movies. She used to pretend she was one ever since her first superhero encounter, which was the Batman Returns movie with her favorite depiction of Catwoman in it. She liked to imagine that maybe that’s why she had to move around a lot: because she had a secret power and her parents were trying everything they could to hide it. Of course, the New Kid always thought it was just pretend. She never knew how close she was to the truth…

But in any case, superhero movies also gave the New Kid a sense of justice and fighting for what’s right. She might be silenced, but that doesn’t mean others should be. So whenever she could, she helped people. Sometimes, she helped people even when she didn’t like them or when helping them meant hurting her. 

On one hand, the New Kid knew she liked this aspect of herself. Being a good friend and always willing to help no matter what was a great quality. But on the other hand, the burden can get a little heavy. Especially when your friends begin to treat you like you’re an armchair therapist. Which wouldn’t be so bad, only…no one ever asks the therapist how they’re doing. 

And the New Kid’s not supposed to be a therapist, she’s supposed to be their friend.

But these days, with a missing cat and their town acting weirder than ever, the kids had more things on their mind than the New Kid’s feelings. She supposed she couldn’t fault any of them for that.

In fact, she may have been a little bit thankful for the weird turn of events happening lately. For starters, it kept her mind off home. And it also served as a distraction from the fact that half of her friends were still at a bitchfest towards each other. 

Last night, for instance, she assisted Scott Malki-erm, Captain Diabetes on a mission to help find the Girl with the Dick Tattoo. Some stereotypical Italian mobsters were killed, the New Kid found out she may have time-altering abilities and they nearly got killed by a stripper with a gigantic ass. 

So all in all, quite an average Sunday night. 

But distractions could only last for so long. Today, a message was received saying one of the Freedom Pals wanted to meet up with them. 

The reality was, the New Kid felt a knot in her stomach as she walked towards the park with the rest of the Coon Friends. She could feel another argument blowing up soon and her entire body tensed at the thought of it. Still, no one really noticed because, well, how could they?

“You’re sure one of the Freedom Pals want to talk to us?” the Coon asked.

“Yeah, the text said it was very urgent.” Fastpass confirmed.

“Yeah, but why would the Freedom Pals want to talk to us?” Coon wondered.

Human Kite pondered quickly before sudden realisation hit him. “Unless…this is some kind of trap.” 

Before they could even ponder it, Toolshed finally appeared from…behind a tree. How the New Kid failed to notice him, she wasn’t sure. 

“Relax, Coon Friends. I didn’t come to fight.” he assured them.

Immediately, the New Kid lit up a bit inside. Could this mean an end to their Civil War? Did they send Toolshed to wave a white flag? 

“I understand that the New Kid helped take my dad’s keys last night. New Kid, I don’t know why you were looking out for my dad, but I owe you one. That’s all I came to say.”

Oh. The New Kid was a bit disappointed, truth be told. And so the war rages on.

"You might be in the wrong franchise, but if you ever need help, I’ll return the favor.” Toolshed promised.

_‘Could the favor be to stop the Civil War so we can all play together again?’_ the New Kid wondered, all the while knowing that would be too big of a favor.

Beside her, the Coon laughed, “You think the New Kid fucking cares about you?! You belong to a loser, zero-income franchise that belongs to a douche in a wheelchair!”

“At least he’s not a fat little phone stealer…” a familiar voice echoed. 

Doctor Timothy appeared, as did Mysterion and Tupperware. Next thing she knew, Civil War II happened once again.

_‘So, it’s gonna be one of those days, huh?’_ she sighed as she got ready into her battle position.

The New Kid’s been in her fair share of fights and this wasn’t her first Civil War. But she couldn’t help but feel very tired. So much happened in the past week that she couldn’t help but feel that everything was getting so chaotic. Still, she soldiered on. Even when Doctor Timothy summoned a bunch of kindergarteners to fight for him (which, New Kid has said before and will say again, honestly proves that Doctor Timothy is ridiculously OP). 

But no matter how OP Doctor Timothy was, it couldn’t match the New Kid’s actual powers. A few blasts here, a few punches there, and some of her new additional time-bending farts perfectly timed before a fatal blow, and the New Kid was sure to win the battle for Coon Friends.

Oddly enough, it seems like her time-bending farts left everyone in a state of confusion. No one really knew what happened, if anything even did.

“Is it just me or does the New Kid look 10 seconds older?” Toolshed questioned.

“Don’t be retarded, Toolshed.” Jimmy rolled his eyes, “The New Kid doesn’t have time bending p-powers.” 

Still, no one wanted to admit how odd they felt, as if time went by quicker suddenly. Except for Mysterion, who seemed to look at the New Kid in shock.

“Well, looks like you’ve learned some tricks…” Mysterion noted.

“Er, what are you talking about? The New Kid’s been using the usual moves she always has. She’s already triple-class, she can’t use another ability!” Coon protested.

“Never mind, Coon.” Mysterion answered, then turned his attention to the New Kid. “You and I need to talk later, alone.” 

Behind her, Human Kite’s eyes widened. “No, you don’t!” 

“This isn’t about that, Kite! It’s about something e-Ah, forget it.” Mysterion groaned. 

_'Wait, it’s not about what?’_ she wanted to ask. 

Before she could, however, Coon decided to gloat about their victory. “Stop distracting, Mysterion! You’re just jealous because that is twice that we kicked your asses!”

“Twice that the _New Kid_ kicked our asses!” Toolshed clarified, “You’re nothing without the New Kid and you know it! New Kid, my offer still stands. I still owe you one. And if you ever wanna join a real franchise, call me.” 

When they left, Coon just laughed at the notion of the New Kid switching sides. Something about them being Marvel and Freedom Pals were DC. 

Afterwards, Coon Friends made their way back to the Coon’s lair. On the way, the New Kid couldn’t help but wonder about the source of her mysterious abilities. When she saw the look on Mysterion’s eyes, it was as if he was the only one who realised that she had actually bended time itself. In fact, Mysterion’s been acting rather fishy towards her lately. Seems like he’s just as curious about her abilities as she was.

If he could see through it, she wondered if Mysterion had his own special abilities that she didn’t know about. Could this have something to do with the fact that he dies all the time yet no one ever seems to acknowledge or remember it? 

The more she thought about it, the more she believed that perhaps she really needed to talk to Kenny about all this, not just ‘Mysterion’. It’s a shame they’re on opposite sides. She briefly thought of becoming a Freedom Pal, just so she could talk to him about it. 

Once they assembled on the Coon table, it was as if Human Kite could read her mind in some way.

“Hey, Riley, you’re not going to switch sides, are you…?” Human Kite asked.

“No, she’s not! If we’re gonna play with a girl, we need her on our side so we don’t look like a sausagefest like in Lord of the Rings!” Coon protested. “And she’s ‘ButtLord’, Human Kite, we don’t use real names.”

“I’m starting to think ‘ButtLord’ may not be appropriate for our sole girl superhero.” Super Craig commented.

“True. Maybe something a bit more appropriate for you, New Kid, like Princess Flowers? Super Sparkles? Maybe instead of shooting fire, you could using your titties to suffocate them?” Coon suggested.

“…” Coon, Mosquito, Captain Diabetes and Fastpast couldn’t tell, but both Human Kite and Super Craig had a feeling this was her equivalent of a glare.

"Ask your new BFF, Wendy, she knows all about killer boobs.” Coon continued.

“Yeah, and you know all about getting your a-a-ass kicked by Wendy.” Fastpass reminded, causing everyone to snicker.

“Goddamnit, Jimmy! I told you, I only let her win because she was on her period and I didn’t want to punch her because she might get her period blood all over me! I-you-she- _Whatever_ , I thought we were here to discuss how to save Scrambles! Now, onto business!” Coon declared before he coughed, “So ButtLord interrogated Classi and found out our next lead is at the U-Stor-It, here in town. We need to infiltrate it!”

Mosquito shook his head, “It can’t be done.The U-Stor-It entrance is all lava.”

“The whole fucking thing is lava?! Shit! There has to be a way to get past it!” Coon said.

Suddenly, a light bulb appeared on Human Kite’s head. A way to both get further in their mission _and_ for him to spend time with his old best friend again!

“There is…Toolshed.”

“Toolshed? What’s that donkey-fucker have to do with anything?!”

“Toolshed has a device that can clear lava, remember? It’s one of his powers!” Human Kite reminded him.

“Hey ,yeah, and he said he owes the New Kid a favor!” Jimmy remembered.

Suddenly, all eyes were on the New Kid again. 

_‘I don’t like where this is going…’_ she thought to herself.

* * *

As predicted, a plan was concocted using her as bait for Stan to come over and help her. Well, help Coon Friends anyway.

On one hand, tonight could be another reminder of how everyone was arguing with each other, which isn’t exactly pleasant. But on the other, it could also bring everyone closer again. Remember how fun it was to play as one big superhero group.

Or it could end with some random turn of events that will undoubtedly end with everything resting on the New Kid’s shoulders. Again.

She thought back to what Stan had said earlier. It seems that it wasn’t just her pitying herself. Everyone was relying on her an awful lot these days. It had happened since their Stick of Truth game and it was still ongoing now.

_‘Why are you complaining? You have friends now. You should be grateful they even want you around.’_ she thought to herself.

Briefly, she even pondered if she could talk to her friends about this, particularly Kyle and Wendy. She knew she could also talk to Stan, Kenny, Tweak and Craig about this, too. 

_‘Really think they’d wanna hang around you if all you did was talk about your problems?’_

The New Kid sighed, knowing her conscience was right. So instead, she keeps her mouth shut and walks home. But the walk from Cartman’s to her house is all too short, and she takes a good look at the house that did not feel like home to her before going in.

Although she stood next to her mailbox, she could hear her father’s footsteps going upstairs and immediately she knew that she would be greeted with yet another fight between her parents.

Something the New Kid would later go on to realise was not normal was this hypersensitive hearing she had. In her house, she can tell where each person was just from the footsteps. She heard her mother’s kitten heels against the carpet floor pacing back and forth in the hallways, then knew that after twenty minutes or so, she would later hear the panic steps of her mother rushing to the toilet after she’s had a bit too many to drink. 

At night, she could hear the her father’s sneakers stomp against the stairs as he rushed downstairs at night to eat his special brownies. She could tell by how long she hears him pacing back and forth if tonight was going to be a relatively quiet night, with him just falling asleep in front of the TV, or a hectic one, followed by the sounds of him throwing things against the walls, things breaking, random threats to nobody screamed.

In the same spirit, she already knew as she opened the door that her parents would not notice her at first despite being gone the whole day.

From downstairs, she could obviously hear their loud argument. She hoped that by slamming the door shut, they would become aware of her presence and shut up. Instead, they continued. 

On the table, there was a plate of food and she couldn’t help but frown. Today was Monday and her parents usually got take-out on Monday nights. It was an attempt at making Mondays more tolerable, more fun and something to look forward to. It was also a tradition only respected a few times, because there were always too many arguments to remember it. Today was no exception, with the usual mac and cheese waiting for her on the table.

Still, perhaps she could ask if they could get tacos or pizza or something tonight. So she made her way upstairs, only to overhear the rest of their fight.

“Why would you tell the school principal what race we are?!” her Dad screamed.

“I didn’t tell him, our child did!” her Mom answered.

“But you confirmed it when the principal called you! How long before they find out everything?!” 

“Our little girl is _hurting_ , don’t you get it?” her Mom asks. Suddenly, the New Kid’s ears perked. “She’s asking questions about her gender, race and sexual orientation because she’s confused!!"

“Confusion was the point! The more Riley understands the truth, the more dangerous it becomes, you stupid whore!” he yelled, feeling like he was explaining the same things for the umpteenth time. It was _so_ easy for Kelly to make him out to be the victim. He just wanted to protect his family.

“You can’t keep hiding the truth from her. Pretty soon she has to find out the truth! She’s not a little girl, anymore, Chris! She has _friends_ now! She may even have a boyfriend one day! She’s going off to malls, she’s interested in clothes and books, she’s going to the movies now…You can’t keep her from growing! You wouldn’t be protecting her, you’d just keep her from living!” 

“ _Well_ , if her friends are the problem, then maybe we should-Hey, look who’s here!” her Dad said, frown and anger lines immediately disappearing from his face in favor of a kind smile. "

“Sorry, sweetie, I know you wanted pizza today, but unfortunately, your Daddy would rather get high and paranoid than go to the store to get his little girl a pizza!” her Mom smiled at her innocently.

“Oh, here it goes, it’s my fault! Everything’s my fault! You know, you poison that kid’s head with so much shit, it’s like you’re trying to turn her against me!”

Her mom began to laugh. But it was a joyless, sarcastic laugh. “I don’t have to do jack shit for her to hate you, you acting like yourself is enough!” 

“Go and have another drink, Kelly!” 

“Go smoke some pot, Chris!"

The New Kid’s heard enough. So she walked away and made her way to eat her dinner.

She could have asked Wendy for an impromptu sleepover. She could have sent Kyle a rabbit emoji. But at the same time, she didn’t feel like inconveniencing any of them. It was a strange thing, wanting the world to come to her aid, yet also wanting to be alone. But the latter was easier. So, the New Kid stayed at home, picking at her food. She didn’t even notice she was crying until she saw a tear fall on her plate. 

It was rough fighting a civil war outside and at home, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a bit on the sadder side, but that was intentional. I consider this less of an actual chapter and more of like a compilation of prologues that foreshadow a lot of things that are going to happen. Next chapter's going to be a lot lighter, though, I swear! There's friendship, action, drama, romance, mystery and of course...chaos!


	7. An Awkward Subplot Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part I of the U-Stor-It mission. Friendships are renewed, loyalties tested and...a romance subplot?

“Perhaps Toolshed wants to help his father because he feels he could have saved him all those years ago…"

The New Kid never really used to wonder _why_ they chose the powers that they did. Sometimes, she figured we chose the powers we want because they were cool. Although looking back, perhaps she should have known better. After all, Batman himself did become Batman due to his fear of bats and him becoming it symbolised his greatest fear. 

The more she thought about it as she accompanied Toolshed to U-Stor-It, the more she realised everyone else’s powers had a connection to who they were or perhaps who they wanted to be.

Stan’s use of his dad’s power tools as his powers must have been some way of wanting to do better than his dad. Everyone knew Randy Marsh was an…interesting character. Sometimes, it was hard for her to think that Stan and Randy were related. Stan was always one to try and fix consequences caused by his father, so his dad’s unused power tools seemed like a perfect fit for him. Even his insinuation that his father was mentally impaired in his ‘superhero origins’ made sense.

Then she thought of the other kids and their reasons for their powers. Jimmy, who was slow and crippled, wanted nothing more than the ability to run fast. Timmy, whose speech was limited, wanted the ability to read people’s minds and to communicate via telepathy. Butters, who longed to be seen as more than innocent and naive, chose to be a villain who brought nothing but chaos through his anger and frustrations against the world. Tweek, always nervous and jittery, wanted to be able to have perfect control over volatile things like storms and ice. Craig, who just seemed so done with everyone all the time, was simply strong and unbreakable, much like himself.

As for Kenny, it made sense for him to be Mysterion: this vigilante with mysterious powers that was both brooding and badass. Mysterion was the kind of hero Cartman wanted in the Coon, but unfortunately, while Kenny had a real reason to be ‘broody’, Cartman didn’t, really. He just wanted to ‘look cool’. After all, if the New Kid died all the time and nobody ever remembered, she’d be broody too.

Wendy, more than anyone, knew the power of social media and how it distorted people’s perceptions on reality. She once told Riley of a heartbreaking story regarding PhotoShop and Kim Kardashian, a story that ended with Wendy succumbing to peer pressure. It hurt Riley to think her friend, usually so strong and willful, feeling so powerless at that moment. It made sense that Wendy would want to control social media one way or another.

Kyle was the kind of person who wanted to help people, so his support class matched that. Even his backstory of being an ‘alien on a human planet’, which he confessed to her he often felt like being a kid in South Park with any hint of sense in him. He had a bit of a savior complexe in him sometimes, feeling like he has to help the people in this town who don’t know any better. 

When it came to Riley herself, she wondered what her combination of powers meant. At first, she was a Blaster. Then she added the ability of a Telepath. 

Figuring out why she was a Blaster wasn’t exactly rocket science. She was angry. At a lot of things, so she liked the idea of blowing shit up. Plus, Starfire was one of her favorites when she was younger, so…

As for the Telepath abilities, she just wished she could communicate more. See the truth of her real backstory. Wish she could dig into her parents’ brain and find out why were they so afraid and so secretive all the time.

Her final class was Plantmancer. That was easy. She liked being outside. She had always been cooped up at home, either trying to hide or because she had no one to hang out with. Now that she had friends, she couldn’t get enough of it: the sunshine, the flowers, the smell of fresh grass, the pure snow. She liked the idea of nature helping her out in some way.

They were interesting things to consider. But now there was a power that seemed unrelated to their little games. An actual, real power.

It was curious...

She couldn't help but wonder why she had this power. 

What's more is that she wondered what would she do with it.

* * *

Stan and Riley walk by Kenny’s house and hear his parents screaming at each other. At first, it started as a fight and somehow ended in them having sex. Riley’s parents were just as awful to each other but she couldn’t help but feel a bit of jealousy towards Kenny. At least his parents still loved each other, as evidenced by the fact that their fight ended in weird kinky sex. And no matter how bad things got, at least Kenny would always have Karen and Kevin. They could help each other, protect each other, or at the very least, understand each other when it came to their whole life.

In hindsight, that could be why the New Kid wanted friends so much. Well, everyone wants friends. But the New Kid always felt like she wanted them more than the average kid, mostly because there was a sense of not being alone during tough times.

So despite the temporary circumstances, she couldn’t help but feel glad that Stan was playing with them again. Kyle, Craig, Jimmy, Scott, Cartman, Clyde and Stan all showed up in their super-hero alter egos to investigate the U-Stor-It and she couldn’t help but smile when she spotted Stan trying to help Kyle up the trash to look for its contents.

Things got interesting when Butters once again showed up as Professor Chaos, throwing elaborate mazes that made her wonder exactly how much money Butters had. As impressive as the maze was, it was nothing compared to her odd time-altering abilities.

Given how crappy her day had been, she had to admit, it was suddenly shaping up to be pretty fun!

Especially when, all of a sudden Call Girl showed up again. Although, as predicted, Coon was not happy.

“Who the _fuck_ is that?!” Coon exclaimed.

But Call Girl ignored him, “You were right about the Italian restaurant, New Kid. The owner is part of a new crime syndicate.”

As she rightfully suspected. Though, of course, Coon was too busy bitching about the girl to take in what she had just revealed. “Who the _fuck_ is that?”

“I have no idea.” Toolshed quipped, to which both the New Kid and Call Girl just stared at him in bewilderment. 

“Well, she’s not in the union! Excuse me, are you on Coonstagram?!” Coon interrogated.

Once again, Call Girl paid him no mind. “There’s someone new in town who’s bringing all the crime families together!”

“Okay, cool, thank you, _bye_.” Coon ordered.

“You mean like a kingpin?!” Fastpass asked.

“You guys, don’t say anything! We’re not playing with her.” Coon said, but the New Kid just rolled her eyes and stepped forward to listen to her, a clear act of defiance. 

“Check out storage facility 56D, New Kid, and take this! Call me if you need me. You’re going to need all the help you can get.” she said before handing the New Kid a phone and taking off.

“Great, so I guess now every fucking asshole thinks they can be a superhero.” Coon complained.

“Well, she did give us useful intel.” Toolshed defended, “So let’s just find Scrambles and be done.”

As they walked to find the storage room, Toolshed couldn’t later help but comment on something very important he noticed.

“Y’know, that Call Girl was kinda hot.” 

The New Kid just stared at him and blink.

“Don’t tell Wendy I said that! Besides, it’s not like it’s weird. I mean, Stan Marsh belongs with Wendy, but Toolshed can get with Call Girl, right?”

Human Kite shook his head, “That’s not how it works, dude…”

“Well, Superman had Lois Lane and Wonder Woman.” Clyde reminded them.

“Yeah, but something tells me that if you tell Wendy that Toolshed’s flirting with Call Girl, she wouldn’t like it.” Human Kite said, which only caused the New Kid to snort.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, my God, Toolshed, just pick a bitch and be done with it. Though you might wanna stick with Wendy because there’s no way we’re playing with that Call Girl!”

The New Kid could feel her IQ points declining with every word of this conversation, so it was a good thing they reached the storage room and were distracted by immediately seeing Professor Chaos’ sidekick, General Disarray, filling the room with lava…and several of other Chaos minions.

“Focus on the ginger! His lava never ends!” Coon said as they all got into battle stations.

The New Kid couldn’t help but smirk. Once, there was a time she feared the addition of more people in combat. Now, with the presence of her ‘Sweet Scent’ ability from her Plantmancer class, she was able to ‘charm’ most of Chaos’ minions onto her side.

“Hey, no fair! Just ‘cause you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can just get people on your side like that!” General Disarray said.

“Everyone chose their powers fair and square!” Toolshed argued, “Not the New Kid’s fault she chose a smarter power than you did.”

“Well, it’s not the best power…” Human Kite muttered.

“What are you talking about? ButtLord’s pulling her weight for once with that power!” Coon said.

…’ _For once_ ’?

Everyone was so distracted that they failed to notice Fastpass quickly using his turn to knock over General Disarray, “Victorious!”

Quickly, Coon rushed over, grabbed General Disarray’s lava device remote and smashed it. 

Above them, he failed to see the lava machine breaking and unleashing all the lava at a high speed rate. Fortunately, most of Coon Friends were on the other side of the room before a pool of lava seemed to split the room in half.

Well, most of the Coon Friends. 

“Wait, where’s Human Kite?” Toolshed asked.

They all turned in horror as they saw Human Kite, stuck on the other side of the room.

“No, Human Kite! Just hold tight…shit there’s no air compressor here, I can’t remove that lava!” Toolshed panicked. 

Coon shrugged, “Oh, well. Human Kite, you fought bravely and valiantly but now it is your time. We will never forget your sacrifice…anyway, see you at school tomorrow, Kyle, bye!”

The New Kid elbowed him, which resulted into an "Ow, New Kid, what gives?"

“Shut up, Coon! There _has_ to be something we can do!” Toolshed said desperately. “You can’t die, Human Kite, you just can’t!” 

“Why do you care? You’re a Freedom Pal.” Super-Craig reminded him.

“Yeah. But he’s _my_ pal.” Toolshed said with fiery determination.

Coon snorted, “Oh, my God, that’s so gay, you guys…”

“It’s okay, Toolshed.” Human Kite sighed, “We all knew going in that not all of us would make it back. I just…I wish I had more time, y’know? To see our franchise take off. At least until the first big crossover movie with everyone, after the Netflix shows and first few movies take off.”

“No, Kite, please…your character still has so many arcs to go through! You still have your origin story to go through on Netflix, then you and I will have this big epic fight scene where you team up with someone I hate and you turn on me and it’s all sad but super badass at the same time!” 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to go through the franchise without me, Stan.” Human Kite sighed. “I just…I just want you to know. Despite the war, I never hated you. I could never. You’re my best friend…”

Toolshed sniffed, “You’re my best friend, too, Kyle.”

The New Kid could only watch in a combination of amazement and confusion.

“I know. And I wish we could have been friends again before it became too late…”

“No, it’s not too late! You still have the end of Civil War, you’re the Captain America to my Iron Man, we need you!” Toolshed pleaded, “Besides, how are we supposed to have the romance subplot between you and the New Kid by the second Coon Friends movie if you’re not here?”

At that, both the New Kid and Human Kite’s eyes widened. 

“W-W-What? What are you talking about?!” Human Kite sputtered.

“Dude, come on, if you’re gonna die, might as well do your final confessions.” Toolshed said in a normal voice.

“Oh, yeah, I forget, Kyle, I put you and the New Kid as gay lovers in the second Coon Friends movie.” Coon casually mentions, “I mean, at the time it was meant to be funny but now that the New Kid’s a girl, it’s not funny, it’s just gross.” 

“Will you stop using gays as something to be made fun of?” Craig snapped at him.

“Hey, Riles…” Human Kite called out to her. As usual, her expression was unreadable to most, but he sensed some concern there. “I’m sorry I’m gone before we…before I…This is just too hard. I just have so many regrets and right now, I don’t think I can tell you everything that needs to be said. Toolshed, can you look after her for me?”

Toolshed wiped a tear from his eye, “You know I will, brother…you know I will.”

Beside her, Super-Craig whispered, “He’s a human kite, can’t he just fly over it…?”

“Shh! This is getting g-g-good!” Fastpass hushed him.

“And Riley? Well, there’s so much I wish I’d said before. And it seems too late now. You mean so much to me, you always have. You’re kind of my best friend-“

“AHEM.”

“ _Girl_ best friend.” Human Kite clarified after Toolshed’s pissed-off remark, “And I guess, what I’m trying to say is, I wish we could have been m-Hey, what are you doing?”

Okay, so, this was all cute and sad and all, but it was getting late and Riley could only take the melodrama for so long. So she proceeded to grab Toolshed’s sandblaster and used her farts as an air compressor to take out the lava.

There, problem solved.

“…Well.” Coon said after a long silence as the Human Kite awkwardly walked through the lava-less floor. “Bet you feel kinda stupid now, huh, Kite?”

“Shut up, Fatass.” Human Kite snapped at him.

“Guys, it’s getting late. Can we focus and try to find a way out of here?” Super-Craig suggested.

“Good idea.” Coon said.

Then Toolshed began to grin, “Hey, Human Kite, you should go to the roof and look for a solution, get your adrenaline pumping again. And hey, the New Kid should go with you, since she’s still a sidekick and all. You should be the one mentoring her!” 

The New Kid shrugged and made her way up to the ladder. She didn’t notice Human Kite turning red and glaring at Toolshed, “I take back what I said, the Civil War is _so_ back on.”

“That’s cool, we still got Civil War 3 to go!” Toolshed chirped, “Have fun now!” 

There was an awkward climb to the rooftop. At least, for the Human Kite. The New Kid’s always been a little hard to read, but Human Kite always thought he could. Now, she seemed to either not really acknowledge the awkwardness of it all or she just didn’t care. 

Ironically, he was dying to know what she thought.

“Hey, about what happened back there…” Human Kite nervously began as they climbed a wooden tower, “Sorry about that. Guess I just got super caught up in the drama of it all, y’know?”

The New Kid just giggled. “I get it. You and Stan bring out each other’s dramatic side.” 

“We do not!” he protested.

“You do. But it’s funny.” she laughed again.

“Well, as long as you think it’s funny…” Human Kite chuckled nervously. When they arrived at the tower, he couldn’t help but whistle at that view. It was a full moon tonight and with this view, you could almost pretend that South Park was a lot like a sleepless city: music and talking could be heard far in the distance, lights inside buildings twinkled on and off, but it was all combined with the fresh mountain air.

He may hate this place sometimes, but he had to admit, it had its charms at times. Weirdly imperfect, in a way..

“Wow, you can see everything up here.” he noticed.

The New Kid nodded in agreement, “Yep. Looks like a redneck version of New York.”

The Human Kite’s eyes widened, “You live in New York?!”

“I lived _everywhere_.” she corrected, “But yeah. Before South Park, lived in Brooklyn for a while. Lived other places before that. Connecticut, Poughkeepsie, Springfield. Lived in Asia and Europe for a while, too.”

She probably should have kept her mouth shut. But what was the harm in telling him she used to live in Brooklyn? It’s not like she’s telling him where she was born. According to her parents, that was the real no-no. Besides, she could trust him, she knew she could.

“Whoa, you’ve been everywhere.” he mused. It sounded really exciting to be able to around the world, but it also sounded pretty lonely. Like she never really had a home, “So, you’re a city girl, huh? That explains it.”

She raised her eyebrow, “Explains what?”

“You stick out here. You always have. Even when you didn’t.” he said before realising how stupid that sounded. “I mean…Guess it’s a bit hard to explain. But there’s something about you that stands out from the people here.”

“Oh?” she said. She was curious at first, but the more she thought about it, the more it saddened her to be thought as some kind of outsider. “I thought I was starting to fit in…”

“You are!” he quickly said, “You get into weird stuff, confusing situations and deal with shit no one else in the world would even think about dealing with. That means you’re definitely a South Park gal.” 

She seem to beam at that and he couldn’t help but smile back. There was a lot to dislike about this town. But she always seemed to have something positive to say about it. People were colorful, buildings were interesting, teachers were funny, kids were unique. He never thought of it that way, but there was something weirdly special about this place.

He knew they should get down and find the others. Still, before they did, something was on his mind.

“So...what do you think about the Coon’s plan? To put our characters in a romance arc?”

The New Kid paused for a second. She wasn’t really thinking about it, to be honest. It just seemed like one of Cartman’s idiotic plans to embarrass Kyle. Though a part of her suddenly felt a bit humiliated knowing that _she_ was used to embarrass him, she then remembered that it was Cartman, so of course he would say that. 

“I don’t know. I always thought of Glitch Gal to be a solo kind of gal.” she admitted.

“Oh…” he sounded a bit disappointed for a second there.

“But then again, I guess it makes sense for the franchise to have a love story.” she muses, “Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle, that weird Black Widow and Hulk subplot…” 

“Yeah, totally, for the franchise!” Human Kite perked. “It’d be good. Attract more girls and all. Also reveal a softer side to the characters and give the audience a break from too much heavy stuff."

She frowned for a second, “But if I’m gonna be in a romance arc, I don’t want to be the damsel. I’d want it to be like…Superman and Wonder Woman. Or Green Arrow and Black Canary.” 

“Of course. I mean, I hate to admit it, but your character is starting to look a lot stronger than mine. Maybe even most people…”

She shook her head, “Not enough to take down Doctor Timothy or Mysterion. They’re both really strong.” 

“Right…” Human Kite muttered, trying not to look jealous at the insinuation that she thought Mysterion was stronger than Human Kite. Hmm. Maybe there could be an arc where Human Kite beats up Mysterion. They needed a Superman V Batman-esque plot anyway and he was the only alien around. “But stronger than Mysterion or not, Glitch Gal chooses Human Kite, right?”

She hadn’t been paying attention and he spoke so fast that she didn’t understand him. “Huh?”

“Nothing.” he quickly stuttered, then decided to change the subject. “So, Glitch Gal, huh?

She nodded excitedly, “I watched thinking of a new superhero name earlier! Besides, I think it suits me better than ButtLord.”

“I don’t know. I’ve grown fond of ‘ButtLord’.” Human Kite grinned.

She just smirked, “Then call yourself ButtLord!” 

They both laughed as Human Kite got on her back and they safely flew down to one of the lower rooftop buildings. 

They met up with the rest of the team, ready to find Scrambles, get that reward money and deal with this whole thing once and for all! 

At first, everyone thought they heard cats nearby. They were so sure they could find Scrambles. Everyone could feel the excitement in their bones, ready to complete their first official mission as a bona-fide superhero group! And who knows what was to follow? More missions, more followers on Coonstagram, meaning a bigger following when their franchise hits…

It was all very exciting, until they opened the door to reveal several addicts cheesing on cats. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, I wish I could finish the whole thing but it was running a bit long so cutting it in half was the best option. This was pretty fun to write, not gonna lie! It's always hilarious to me when everyone basically makes fun of Kyle. I also rewrote it to make Kyle the one in danger from the lava for obvious plot development reasons, since nothing was to be gained plot-wise from Craig being the one in danger.
> 
> So, New Kid and Kyle have agreed to be in a pseudo-relationship of some kind, y'know, for the sake of their franchise only. Interesting way of putting it...


	8. An Awkward Subplot Part II

“This again?” Human Kite whined. 

In a way, the New Kid was almost impressed. Cheesing was such a city thing to do that it was weird to think that even podunk places like this adopted the habit early on. 

Still, that thought quickly faded when she realised she would have to fight these addicts. 

And they had cans of explosive toxic waste.

“Oh shit! Stay away from that stuff!” Coon backed down.

There were so many of them, and she can’t exactly charm adults. There were a lot of Coon Friends, too, but there was only so much they could all do. Captain Diabetes, Super-Craig, Fastpass, Mosquito and Coon all had to sit this one out since they were all close-range fighters and getting too close to these guys or the explosives was not a good idea, which meant that it was mostly up to her, Human Kite and Toolshed.

She could use her time-bending abilities, but her new abilities were a bit unstable and she could only fart so many times for so long. Instead, she focused on her blaster abilities, aiming carefully at the trash cans to explode whenever those guys were within vicinity. Toolshed focused on his screwdriver ability, whereas Human Kite stayed behind and made sure they were both healed.

As serious as the situation was, Human Kite was half-worried and half-excited. There was something great about fighting alongside his best friend again, not to mention fighting alongside and protecting Riley made him feel like even more of a proper superhero. The new romance subplot between their characters made him get into the game even more, made things more real and the stakes were high. After all, according to franchise rules, Human Kite was fighting alongside his best friend and his girl. What could be better?

Well, actually, now that he thought about it, they were in desperate need of a fourth fighter. He was so busy healing Toolshed and Glitch Gal that he could barely attack himself, meaning it was basically just those two against everyone else.

Then, salvation came in the form of a Call Girl.

“Looks like you could use some help!” Call Girl bravely announced as she stepped forward into the battlefield. 

“No way, nuh-uh, we’ve already got one girl in the group so we are not playing with you!” 

Toolshed quickly replied as one of the addicts knocked him off his feet, “Shut up, Cartman, we need backup and if you can’t do anything, let her do it!” 

“Fine! But this doesn’t mean you’re on the Coon Friends’ side!” Coon clarified.

“I’m not on your side, I’m on the Glitch Gal’s side!” she clarified, then winked at Riley, “Yeah, I got your text earlier. Cute name choice!” 

“Who the fuck is the Glitch Gal?! I didn’t approve that name!” Coon protested.

“Well, it’s better than calling her ButtLord.” Super-Craig said.

“It’s a p-pretty cool name, New Kid. Good choice!” Fastpass complimented.

“Well, no…Guys, I didn’t tell you earlier but um, I was gonna change my name into Glitch Guy, I swear! But the New Kid stole it, but sorry New Kid, I didn’t approve that, so I guess you’ll have to stay ButtLord and I am now the Glitch Guy.” Coon quickly said.

“Hey, no fair, Cartman, keep your own name, that’s Riley’s!” Human Kite protested.

“But…no, it’s a cool name…” he whined.

“It doesn’t even make sense with _your_ abilities!” Super-Craig said.

“Yeah, and Riley can alter time now so it’s a better fit.” Captain Diabetes argued.

“The fuck?! I didn’t authorise time-bending in your class! We already discussed this, New Kid, you can’t be a blaster, telepath, plantmancer _and_ time-bender, New Kid, that’s just too OP! I’m afraid you’re gonna have to get nerfed, can’t have you be stronger than everyone. And I’m keeping the name.” Coon said.

“It’s her name now quit bitching!” Toolshed said as he continued fighting, but in the background they could all hear Coon whining

Surprisingly, Call Girl was a better fighter than expected. For one, her attacks were not only long-ranged but she could hit anyone and anything using that phone of hers, no matter how far they were from her. In fact, she probably had the best range out of all of them.

“It’s the data plan, best range ever.” Call Girl said smugly.

“That is so dumb, the power of cell phones, really?” Coon said.

Glitch Gal ignored him. Maybe it was the hype of a new name or the adrenaline from almost having a teammate die or the excitement of having her best friend fight alongside her, but she was suddenly feeling faster, stronger and more clever with her attacks! Immediately, a strategy formed in her head as she blew up a vat of waste, taking out with it two addicts at a time.

She looked at Toolshed, Call Girl and Human Kite, and they all nodded at each other, seemingly understanding her plan without her need of saying it out loud. Human Kite kept them healed and protected, whereas Call Girl damaged whoever she could, Toolshed damaged and moved everyone close to the toxic waste cans where Glitch Gal would deliver the final blow, send a fireblast to the cans and have them knock down as many enemies as possible.

With the newfound strategy and great group dynamic, it wasn’t long before they won. And the foursome couldn’t help but immediately high five each other, with Human Kite hugging Glitch Gal and both Call Girl and Toolshed gave them a questioning but approving look. 

Of course, they would later come to learn that this new development was the result of a character arc and not a genuine development in their friends’ personal lives, in which case they would slap their own faces in frustration, but until then…

“Hey, Call Girl, right? You, uh, fight pretty well.” Toolshed complimented, getting unreasonably nervous all of a sudden.

“Thanks. We should work together more often, Toolshed.” she said with a flirtatious grin, and Toolshed could feel himself gulp.

“Um…ImreallysorryyourereallyprettybutIhaveagirlfriend.” he burst out, then sighed in relief before he did anything stupid.

Call Girl just blinked at him, then began to laugh. “Good answer, Stan.”

“Wait, how’d you know my na-?” Oh. Well. This was embarrassing.

“LOOK! It ain’t us, okay?!” one of the addicts said, breaking everyone out of their conversation and causing them to focus on them. “The big man has everyone working together: the Italians, the Russians, the Sixth Graders…they all work for him! We just put the cat urine in the alcohol!”

Her flirtatious voice disappeared and was replaced by her business one, “Who is the big man?!”

“He doesn’t even do it for the money, man. It’s like…it’s like he wants more crime in the streets!” the addict said, voice full of desperation and fear.

“Wow, that sounds spooky!” Fastpass noted.

“You don’t even know spooky, man. Don’t you get it? We’re already dead for telling you!” the addict said before completely losing it and thrashing about, grabbing cats to pee on him, pushing around toxic wastes and chemical beakers…

“Everybody r-r-r…Everybody r-ra-ru-GET THE FUCK OUT!” Fastpass yelled as everybody immediately left the storage room before it burst intoflames and exploded.

The explosion had been so loud and grand, they all knew for a fact it could be seen all over South Park right now.

“Dude, what the fuck?!” Toolshed panicked. “What the hell just happened?!”

“I don’t know, but guys, this may be a lot more serious than we thought!” Mosquito said.

“Oh, really, Clyde? What was your first clue? When we nearly got fucking barbecued to death?!” Coon snapped.

“Fighting among ourselves isn’t going to solve anything! If we’re going to save this town, we need to focus on what’s important and-“ before Wendy could finish, the TV screen outside showed Professor Chaos again, howling and laughing evilly.

“It’s raining chaos!” Professor Chaos claimed.

“Uh, Butters? Dude, shit just got real, like really real, so we really don’t have time to play this right now.” Human Kite said.

“Muahahaha! You’ve come far, Coon Friends, but now you’re trapped in my inner sanctum!” 

“I don’t think he can hear us.” Toolshed said.

“Whatever. His minions are weak anyway. Let’s just beat them up and go home.” Super-Craig said.

They all made quick work of Professor Chaos’ minions…and his Mecha Minion Chaos Supreme. 

The New Kid couldn’t help but think that with all the money it cost to hire these goons, buy all those legos, set up the elaborate traps, not to mention the cost of making the mecha, she swears Butters probably had more money than Scrambles’ reward money anyway. This time, Glitch Gal, Human Kite, Toolshed and Call Girl focused on the healer minions whereas the rest of Coon and Friends directly dealt with Chaos’ Mecha.

As soon as he fell, Coon Friends immediately surrounded him

“Alright, Chaos, talk! Who gave you the money to do all of this?!” Toolshed interrogated.

But Chaos didn’t answer, which led to Human Kite shaking him, “Butters, wake up!”

“I think he’s dead, dude.” Super-Craig said, but a quick kick from the Coon woke Chaos up.

“Uh, fellas, I think we better get him back to base…” Fastpass suggested.

“Alright, let’s take him to the holding cell.” Coon said.

“The holding cell?” Chaos repeated, “Aw, jeez, it’s kind of late, fellas. I have to get home before I get grounded!”

“Well, you should have thought of that before you tried to lava the town, Chaos.” 

Glitch Gal snickered, though she couldn’t help bit feel a tad sorry for Butters. And whoever had to clean all this mess up.

Everybody left, but then she wanted to stay back a bit to say goodbye to Stan and Wendy.

“This was fun!” Wendy chirped, “Glad to be working with you, GG.”

“You know, Wendy, if you’re interested, I’m pretty sure Freedom Pals need a girl on their team, too…” Stan suggested.

“Oh, now you recognise me?” she snipped at him, “I thought you wanted to hit on Call Girl!”

Stan began to panic a bit. “You are Call Girl!” 

“You didn’t know that!” Wendy exclaimed, “But it doesn’t matter. I’m not joining anyone. I’m not on Coon’s side or Freedom Pals’ side. I’m on Glitch Gal’s side.”

Before Stan could recover from his little boyfriend faux-pas, Call Girl had walked away, only a ‘see ya tomorrow!’ to be heard in the echoes of the night.

“Dude. Everytime I think I know her, she goes and does stuff like this.” Stan pondered out loud, half-amazed and half-confused. “Well, it’s been a long night guys. But I think i’ve gotta go back to my team. Glitch, you know I’m always down to help you, but I won’t be so willing to work with your Coon Friends again. The offer to join Freedom Pals still stands.”

“Well, it’s been great working with you again. Kinda like old times.” Kyle smiled fondly.

Stan sighed deeply. It was fun. In fact, this was the most fun he’s had in weeks since the stupid civil war began. “Yeah, well, I told you. This was a one-shot deal. I only came to help out Riley.”

“But…what about what you two said before?” Riley asked. “Y’know. About being each other’s best friends and stuff? Doesn’t that put things into perspective a bit?”

Both boys paused, looking down to their feet. It’s true that near-death experiences really make you think about things. But facts were facts. At the end of the day, they were still on opposite teams. And one going into the other’s team would be admitting that they were wrong the entire time. That was something neither of them wanted to admit just yet.

“Come on, ‘Shed. Come back to the team.” Kyle pleaded a bit.

“Can’t do that, Kite. Freedom Pals is going to make more money with their franchise.” Stan argues.

“You’re wrong! We’re gonna make like a billion dollars!” Kyle said vehemently, “Besides, how’re you gonna do better than us? Our franchise has a girl and a romance subplot!”

“Well, when we get Call Girl on our team, we’ll have a girl and Toolshed’s getting a girlfriend!” Stan defended, “And we’re going to make a zillion dollars.” 

With that, Toolshed disappeared just as quickly as Call Girl did. Kyle sighed, a little disappointed in how things ended. Both of them walked a little further behind the rest of Coon Friends.

“Do you really think they’ll make a zillion dollars? Are we the ones in the wrong franchise?” Kyle asks her.

The New Kid shrugs, “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Does it really matter anyway? The Civil War has to end someday. We’ll all play together again, soon.”

“Yeah, I know. I miss him, though. You were right, what you said back there. Near-death experiences can really make you think…” Kyle said.

“Okay, well, let’s not exaggerate. They were legos.” the New Kid deadpans.

“Shh. Lava.” Kyle insists, which only makes the New Kid chuckle. “Anyways, I hope you’re right. It’s been crazy tonight. And I have a feeling it’s gonna get crazier.” 

On that, they could agree. But the New Kid also knew that Kyle had no idea just how right he was. It wasn’t just their superhero play, or this weird conspiracy with rising crime in town. it was also that book. Those cameras pointed at everyone’s house. The New Kid being very sure she somehow had a central role in all of it.

Then it hit her. The Civil War was bad now, but what’s going to happen if all of her friends find out she may just be at the heart of it all? After all, it was undeniable that she was beginning to be the most OP hero out of all of them. And in comic books, isn’t that what they always do? Take the most powerful one and somehow, turn them against everyone? They did it with Superman. Well, did it better in the comics anyway. We don’t talk about the atrocity that was the Justice League live action movie.

She’s had this fear before. That her friends will turn against her. She had it when they all found out she was a girl. She was so sure that was going to be the end of it all. Luckily, she was proven very wrong. But can luck truly strike twice?

“Kyle, do you think we’d ever get into a civil war? With each other?” she asks.

He blinked at her, “What? How would that happen? You and I are on the same team.”

“Yeah, but. Hypothetically. What if something happens and it’s your job to go against me. You…you wouldn’t, right?” her voice became softer the more she asked this question. Mostly because she was afraid of the answer.

“You mean like an Evil Superman scenario?” he clarifies. “Well, I never thought about it before. I mean, the idea if me being against you sounds insane.”

“Insaner things have happened.” she reminds him.

“Good point…But to be honest, I can’t see myself ever going against you, Riles. Even if I had to.” Kyle admits. “Civil war or not, I’m always on your side.” 

“Okay. That’s good to know.” she smiles, “Thanks. And you know, the same goes for you, too.” 

“Yeah, right, as if anyone would wanna turn me into evil. I’m just a Human Kite.” Kyle waved off.

“Yeah, with the ability to heal and shield anyone and can shoot laser beams out of his eyes. And you’re an alien!” she reminds him. 

“Well, when you put it that way…” he laughs a bit, suddenly feeling less insecure about his abilities. “But thanks. I always did know you’d have my back. I knew it from the second you decided to stay in Coon Friends even though Tweek and Stan were in Freedom Pals.”

“Well, yeah, of course, I’d always pick you.” she says matter-of-factly, but she doesn’t see how Kyle quickly turned away, hoping his headgear and the night would be enough to conceal his reddening cheeks.

“You know, Riley. It’s not just me. You have lots of people on your side. I definitely am. I know Wendy considers you her best friend. Stan and Kenny both have this weird soft spot for you. Tweek and Craig, well, they act like you’re _their_ kid sometimes so they’ll always protect you. Even Jimmy, Timmy, Scott and Butters like you. And you know what? For all his douchebag tendencies…you are the only one that Cartman allowed to have a triple-class besides himself.” Kyle listed. Honestly, he didn’t even realised just how loved the New Kid was until he began to list everyone and consider their relationships with her on top of his head. It was actually really impressive, considering she’d only been here for about a year or so. “I know it may not seem like it, but if things ever got really, really bad for you and you needed help, you can count on Coon Friends _and_ Freedom Pals to be on your side.”

At that, Riley couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t exactly want Kyle to see she was tearing up a bit, so she immediately jumped on him and gave him an attack hug, to which Kyle almost lost his balance.

“Whoa! Careful! You’re holding a little tight there but…Ah, okay.” Kyle tried to look so embarrassed as he hugged her back. 

“Would you two gaywads stop making out for two seconds and come interrogate the prisoner?!” they could hear a certain impatient fatass scream in the background.

With a newfound spring in her step, Riley quickly ran back to the Coon base. Once they both got there, poor Butters was in the holding cell, with everyone on the table still trying to figure out who could have paid him to bring chaos.

“I’m telling ya, I don’t know his name! Nobody does! He’s just trying to unite all the crime families in town! He's everywhere. He’s nameless, faceless, he can change his appearance like the wind changes direction!” Butters said.

“Wait. What did you say?” Cartman interrupted him.

“He says there’s a revolution coming and that the darkness of our own hearts will bring about our undoing.” 

“Oh, my God…could it be? No, it’s impossible!” Cartman said. “There’s only one person I know of who can disguise himself so easily. The same person who may have a motive to tear South Park apart…Mitch Connor.”

Silence overtook the room. The New Kid tried searching her brain. Mitch Connor. Was that someone she was meant to know? Man, there’s too many people in this town.

“Oh, no. No, no, no, no.” Kyle shook his head.

“What? Who’s that?” Scott asked.

“Cartman’s stupid hand puppet.” Human Kite said, his head already getting a headache as he began to figure out what was to come.

“You know damn well he was just using my hands to suit his needs!”

“But why would he want to tear down South Park?” Jimmy asked.

“And how would he get the money?” Mosquito wondered.

Kyle couldn’t believe his ears! This was happening again?! Honestly, was he an actual alien that could see what was going on here? “Shut up, it’s not Mitch-fucking-Connors!”

“No, he’s right guys! It couldn’t be Mitch Connor. He died in an oil rig accident in Alaska.” Cartman remembered.

Well, Kyle decided he’s had enough. So he pushed himself out and began to leave the Coon base. “Fuck this. I’m going to bed.”

“Yes, good idea, Human Kite. Everyone get back to your homes, it’s getting late! We’ll reconvene tomorrow.” Cartman said.

It’s funny. Cartman was so sure that night that he knew exactly how this whole thing was going to play out. He was certain about Mitch Connor’s role in this whole arc and he was also sure that he would come up as the central star of the show. 

Little did Eric Cartman know, he and his 'Mitch Connor’ were both just pawns in a much, much bigger game.

And down in a blue house on another street, a girl was getting much closer to the truth than he ever would.

* * *

Our powers say a lot about who we are. This no one was more perplexed by than Riley herself.

Tonight got her thinking more and more about the powers everyone chose to have and why. Then she saw Butters. Sweet, gullible, naive Butters. The poster child of innocence. The human personification of the ‘face with open mouth and cold sweat’ emoji. The first kid she met, actually, who was so kind and friendly that he asked her to come and play within not even five seconds of meeting her. 

She could guess that Butters had a lot of issues. Mr Stotch was an unfair man and a rather cruel parent. Mrs Stotch was the kind of woman who just laid in the sidelines watching it all happen. You’d never guess how bad it was, but as the resident quiet New Kid, Riley was entitled to plenty of secrets. Still, Butters always smiled and tried to be positive. But tonight showed a different side to him. Some kind of outlet for all the anger and resentment he’s never been able to express before.

It was then that she began to wonder. Power had serious effects on whoever had it. Tonight was the first night in a while that she’s fought with everyone in such serious circumstances and not just for play. She forgot just how good she was in fighting. She was quick, strong and powerful but most importantly, her strategising was lightening-fast. 

And with the addition of these new abilities….she might just be the most powerful of them all. Perhaps even more so than Doctor Timothy.

_‘You said so yourself, she’s pretty OP.'_

_‘You’re nothing without the New Kid and you know it!'_

_‘I hate to admit it, but your character is starting to look a lot stronger than mine. Maybe even most people…'_

_'I’m afraid you’re gonna have to get nerfed, can’t have you be stronger than everyone.'_

Upon her return home, she took a second or two to watch her father. Passed out. Broken furniture around him. Not to mention, lying dangerously close to water with electricity running in it.

So, she pauses time and carefully take the electricity out of the water. She doesn’t stop there. She wants to see how much further she can take it. So she goes back in time and manages to, well, ‘glitch’ the items back in place. No broken vase, no electrical wires out of place, no water on the floor and all of the locks she broke trying to get out were back in place.

The world feels different when time is messed with, at least from her perspective. It looked like she was under water, except everything was in black, grey and white and she was the only one who moved normally. But everything seemed to bend with the flick of her hand and it was as easy as moving jelly on your plate. The world was so cold when time no longer existed. Sometimes, the New Kid wants to experiment and go back even further. She wants to keep waving her hands until she can go back to the day the stupid Civil War began and prevent it from happening. She wants to go back to the good ole’ Stick of Truth days. Sometimes, she wants to go back even further, before she lived in Brooklyn or Connecticut or Poughkeepsie or Marseille or Tokyo or Seoul, back to when she was a baby. More than ever, she wants to go back to a time her parents didn’t hate each other all the time and maybe stop them from ever hating each other. Then she realises that even if she could, she can’t remember a time when they weren’t arguing.

In any case, time bending was one thing. Pretty soon, she suspects she’ll even learn how to travel forward in time. What would happen then? 

But more importantly, how would this power effect her? She was such a sad, angry, frustrated little girl. She knew this. Would she be tempted to use that power for evil? Would she turn on the very people she loved, blinded by her rage? Would she be like Butters, uncaring of the consequences of her actions, and inflicting as much pain on the world as it did her?

In her mind, she can feel the seeds of evil beginning to sow. After all, from a perspective like her or Butters, it’s not evil. If the world keeps treating you bad, then why should it expect anything less than bad treatment back? She can almost justify it as some way of making sure karma actually pays back. Maybe the people she calls her friends will one day take her for granted and she can’t help but turn on them. Was it possible?

_No,_ she tells herself. _That’s not me. That’s never going to be me._

And even something does happen, she remembers Kyle’s words to her: _'I know it may not seem like it, but if things ever got really, really bad for you and you needed help, you can count on Coon Friends and Freedom Pals to be on your side.’_

She closed her eyes and slept with a smile on her face as she repeated those words in her head. The words brought more comfort to her than any teddy bear ever had. 

Unfortunately for the New Kid, she would not be able to use these words as a lullaby for long as she is about to discover that although pretty, Kyle’s words weren’t exactly true.

* * *

Henrietta Biggles didn’t like to be told she couldn’t do something. From the moment she was a baby, her mom dressed her in pretty pink toddler tutus, only to have Henrietta break into the garage, grab black paint and spread it all over her dress until no trace of pink couldn’t be found.

This stubbornness has gotten her into trouble, of course. It led her to smoking and drinking caffeine at eleven years old. But it had some unexpected benefits: it led her to going from an F to an A+ after she overheard her teacher say they had all but lost hope in Henrietta and they were very convinced that she would never ever be able to pull her grades up. It led her to save up money using babysitting jobs to be able to buy the goth clothes her parents refused to give her. It eventually led her to learning ten languages when her mother once told her she refused to buy her cult books since they were in a language she couldn’t possibly learn anyway.

So, yeah. Being wilful had unexpected perks.

So when Henrietta found a book with two unlikely companions in the form of Class Prep Wendy Testaburger and Mute New Kid Riley Rhodes, she felt like she could hear the voices in her head claim she couldn’t possibly decode this odd book, with symbols and alphabets not well known to the common tongue. Basically, she’s never felt more stubborn to figure something out than she did then.

And to her surprise, she did manage to crack a few letters. After taking the entire weekend and all of Monday going to the library looking for old language books and scouring past page seven of Google searches, she was finally getting somewhere.

Well, twelve words and a publication date. Three of which, despite knowing its spelling, she had no idea what it actually meant. They were written on top of the very last page, along with several scribblings that almost looked like some weird cultish maze game. At the very least, she deduced that the book was written sometime in the 1800s, which meant this book was pretty fucking old and belonged either in a collector’s home or a museum, but certainly not in a hidden room in a trashy mall in butt-fuck nowhere Colorado. 

Still, the first room of occult books is: never assume that reading in your head is sufficient. Sometimes, the real answer is saying it out loud.

"Ade due Lilitha, present the map of the new angel…” she read out loud. 

Then something happened that she’d never seen before: the ‘scribblings’ that resembled a maze began to separate and change on the book’s paper. 

"What the fuck?” she immediately cried, dropping the book and watching as the scribblings began to take form of something else. At first, it was confusing. Like looking through a kaleidoscope. Then it looked like the beginnings of an odd puzzle, with every scribble connecting to something else. But it only took a few seconds for the image to completely change and that’s when Henrietta nearly lost her shit.

There it was. In a cult book written in the 1800s, was a drawing of a map of South Park, with all the houses and buildings, in 2020. She could see her street as well as every other street in South Park, the building that resembled her school, Stark’s Pond, even the fucking Raisins’ place was on this 1800s book. She spotted her blue house and underneath it written ’The Summoner’.

She looked around and saw another house with something written under. She recognised it as the newest goth girl, Karen’s home, aswell as the home of that orange hoodied kid. ‘The Guardian’.

There were houses of people she didn't recognise, but with names that seemed to stand out.

'The Catalyst'

'The Sacrifice’

‘The Harbinger’

That’s when she spotted the New Kid’s house, in letters that seemed fancier and grander than everyone else’s, it read as plain as day:

'The Chosen One' 

Henrietta Biggles didn’t like being told she couldn’t do something. But even more concerning is no one was telling her what she couldn't do, and she had no idea what to do herself.


	9. An Awkward Baby Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The New Kid discovers a secret Butters has been keeping and helps the angry lil Professor defend himself.

Despite the odd events of last night, the next day began as a normal day in South Park Elementary. Eric Cartman was practically half-asleep. Clyde Donovan was secretly looking through random hot girls’ pics on Coonstagram. Timmy Burch was secretly pondering if we could ever find a unified theory of physics through a quantum theory of curved space-time sketch. Everyone else was writing down what was being said without actually listening. All in all, a typical day for everyone.

“Now, children, if we take all of what we had just learned into consideration, we can conclude that it does not, in fact, take a high IQ to appreciate the humor of Rick and Morty. It does, after all, have a character named Mr Poopybutthole. So why is it such a good show has a shitty fanbase? Well, if we look at the history of shitty fanbase…"

Just when the New Kid was about to sigh at hearing Garrison teaching literally anything other than what he's meant to again, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. As she looked around her, she saw a few of her friends also had their phones buzz. She quickly opened it to see a new notification from one of her group chats...

Coon and Friends only NO GIRLS ALLOWED

**The Coon** : alright guys i think i figured out a plan to get ahead in our mission

**Glitch Ga** l: I still think we should change the group name...

**The Coon** : No time ButtLord btw this mission involves u so u better listen up

**Super-Craig** : oh wow a mission involving the New Kid doing all the heavy lifting so shocking

**Captain Diabetes** : yh I thought she was a sidekick y’s she doing everything

**The Coon** : she does not! Buttlord only does the easy missions! WE do all the hard stuff

**Human Kite** : like what

**The Coon** : the point is, there’s a Coon and Friends-only meeting at lunch so we have time to look over the plan

**Glitch Gal** : can’t. Please and Sparkles Club meeting @ lunch 

**The Coon** : WHAT?! r u seriously putting ur needs over that of Coon and Friends?!

**Human Kite** : u mean like on sunday when u made us eat at buca di faggocini and left GG and CD to deal with a strip joint on their own?

**The Coon** : this isn’t like that Kyle! 

**Glitch Gal** : can’t we just meet up after school? We’re doing the Cutest Girls list today!

**The Coon** : douchebag, you’re not gonna be on the list, might as well skip that one and save yourself the pain

Exactly a second after she finished reading the text, she could hear a kick followed by Cartman screaming, “OW! Goddamnit Kyle!” 

**Super-Craig** : don’t listen to him riles he’s just mad because he was on the bottom of the Cutest Boys list last year 

Seconds later, everyone on the group chat laughed while Cartman pouted.

**The Coon** : whatever craig we all know that shit is rigged anyway!

**Captain Diabetes** : hey, with NK on the committee, does that mean she can rig it that the next Cutest Boys list has us on top?

Suddenly, all the boys turned to the New Kid, who immediately sank in her chair. The last thing she wanted was to abuse her newly appointed vice president role.

**The Coon** : on second thought, networking is important for every superhero u never know when we might need the girls’ alliance alright go ahead and attend your lunch NK we’ll reconvene after school

_________________

The Pleases and Sparkles Club had a huge change since its establishment seven months ago. There were rules and harsh punishments for those who infracted said rules. No one was tougher on these rules than its president, Wendy, who had assumed the role after the former president Bebe was caught rigging the votes on the Cutest Boys list just so she could get nice shoes from Clyde’s dad’s shoe store at the mall. Well, because they were good friends, Wendy didn’t have the heart to completely banish Bebe from the club, so she still kept her as secretary and treasurer, but the role of vice president was void for the longest time until the New Kid came out as a girl and thus the role was given to her instead.

The Cutest Girls list was a controversial topic. Wendy was worried that it might increase cattiness and bullying among the girls, but everyone wanted a cutest girls list so bad and this was a democracy, after all. 

The debates at lunch were long and arduous, with plenty of good points from every girl. Ah, but the art of debate was rarely simple. It was a question of ferocity of one’s advocacy and the scientific strength of one’s argument and no one has mastered this better than the fourth grade girls of South Park.

“Ashley should be number one, I mean, look at her clothes! They are, without a doubt, the cutest clothes!” Allie Nelson said.

“Oh, please, the New Kid has the cutest clothes out of everyone!” Nichole Daniels argues.

“Yeah, but we’re not voting ‘cutest clothes’, are we?” Tammy says, “I say we move Jessie Fisher to top 5, she has a much cuter face!”

“How dare you?!” Red slammed her fist on the desk, “‘Cuteness’ is more than just how you look, it is the clothes, the personality, the attitude!” 

“Well, if we’re talking about all that, we should be moving Esther to top 3, at least.” Ashley says.

Bebe shook her head, “Nuh-uh, Esther got eyelash implants.”

“Eyelash implants?! I thought those were illegal!” Wendy exclaimed.

“Not in Paraguay.” Bebe informed, rolling her eyes as she saw Esther trying to deny everything.

“Slander! This is slander and I will not have for it! I will sue you for this, Bebe!” Esther screamed.

That only made the New Kid snort. “It’s only slander if she’s not telling the truth, Esther. We _all_ know about your little vacation to Paraguay last spring break.”

“Wait, I’m confused, I thought we were all for women doing whatever they wanted with their bodies?” Isla Jones asked.

“ _Women_ , Isla, not when we’re fourth graders! Advocating for any cosmetic surgery at our age is detrimental to our self-image and contributes to unrealistic expectations!” Wendy said.

“Oh, here she goes again with the feminazi crap.” Lisa Burger rolled her eyes, “You know, Wendy, I’m starting to re-think your position as president because you so obviously have a bias against pretty people.”

“Well, that doesn’t make sense, Lisa, because the only bias Wendy has is towards you.” the New Kid bluntly comments.

“Oooooooh….” the rest of the girls giggled as they saw Lisa turn red.

“Now, now, I have no bias against anyone.” Wendy promises although she shoots the New Kid a look which thanks her for having her back. “And if you have a problem with my presidency, Lisa, then you can take it up at the next Pleases and Sparkles meeting. Right now, lunch is ending soon and we all need to start writing our votes in. I’ll leave everyone 5 minutes to do their rankings, then the committee and I will count them and post them right before the bell rings for next period. Does that pleases and sparkles with everyone?”

“Sunshine.” everyone agrees as crayons and papers scattered the table as they all began to write their votes.

“Who do you think everyone’s going to vote to be number one?” Wendy whispered to the New Kid as she looked over her own personal votes.

The New Kid shrugged, “I don’t know. But I’m putting you as number one.” 

Wendy’s hand immediately went towards her heart and she couldn’t help but gasp, “Riley! Oh, thank you! I mean, I know it’s not true. But thank you! Just so you know, I didn’t even hesitate when I voted for number one.”

She put her personal votes up for the New Kid to see and to her surprise, the New Kid saw that Wendy had put her up for number one. “Aw, really?!” 

“Ugh. Why don’t you two lezzies get a room?” Heidi sneered.

Wendy just rolled her eyes then muttered to Riley, “Well, I guess we know who’s going in the bottom of the list…”

Now, the New Kid was hardly ever mean. But Heidi a.k.a She-Cartman had been annoyingly antagonistic to her from the start, so she couldn’t help but shoot back, “Don’t be sensitive just because no one will vote you as number one.” 

“Whatever, these things are rigged anyway! We all know you and your girlfriend are just gonna put each other as number 1 and 2!” Heidi accused.

The New Kid shook her head. Even when she was away from Cartman, she wasn’t really away from him. Between Heidi Turner and Lisa Burger being in the club, she had a constant headache. Still, she paid the girl no mind as she resumed her votes. 

By the end of lunchtime, Wendy, Bebe and Riley had counted up the votes while the other girls had dispersed, given how those three were the official committee and the only ones allowed to count votes. There were approximately 23 girls in the fourth grade and all 23 girls were ranked and written on the list, but really, the only ones that mattered and that people actually looked at on the list were those who were Top 10. 

“Alright, ladies, here’s the final verdict!” Wendy said as she proudly showed the results written in pink and red crayon.

  1. Lola

  2. Red

  3. Nichole

  4. Bebe

  5. Wendy

  6. Riley

  7. Ashley

  8. Jenny

  9. Jessie

  10. Marjorine




“Ah! Look at that, Riley, Bebe! We made it into the Top 10!” 

“Sweet! And I didn’t even have to rig anything this time!” Bebe cheered. When she saw Wendy’s glare, she quickly added, “What? I really didn’t! These are all per people’s votes!” 

“I’m number 6 on the cutest list?” Riley beamed, immediately grinning from ear to ear. “I didn’t think I’d even make top 10!”

“Oh, come on, Riley, you are cute.” Wendy smiled at her, “And with Heidi around, you never had to worry about who’d be on the bottom.”

“But Heidi’s not ugly.” Riley said, very confused considering Heidi was actually one of the prettier girls.

“Well, none of the girls are really ugly. But it doesn’t help that Heidi’s been a bitch since she broke up with Cartman. She’s mellowed out and looks like herself again but as you can tell, she’s still a pain in the ass.” Bebe said, rolling her eyes.

“Yep, and as Red said earlier, ‘cuteness’ is more than just how you look.” Wendy reminded.

Riley nodded, understanding the good point she made. As she looked on the list, she couldn’t help but have a few thoughts. The first one was, although Lola was undisputedly the cutest, she still think the number one spot should have gone to Wendy (what can she say? she was biased). She thought Nichole Daniels should have had the number 2 spot and that Jenny shouldn’t have been in the top 10 at all. If she had to pick, Riley wouldn’t have even put herself on the top 10. 

But a name she didn’t recognise immediately stood out.

“Who’s Marjorine?” 

“Oh, she was the New Kid before you were the New Kid.” Bebe explains.

“Yeah, we were really mean to her when we first met her.” Wendy said sadly, regret evident in her eyes. The memory of making poor little Marjorine cry always stood out in her head. She never wanted to be one of those mean girls. Sometimes, Wendy wondered if that’s why she always kept a close eye on Riley, because she knew how easy it was to be cruel to the New Kid. “And we made her think she was ugly. But actually, she was really, really cute! Especially when we gave her a makeover.”

Bebe nodded, “I know right! When we got her dancing and letting her hair down, it was a whole different person!”

“Yeah, she went from being the awkward weirdo to this beautiful bright person when she came out of her shell. From the little glimpse we had of her, it made us all think she was the kind of girl who had such a light about her that we couldn’t help but want to be her friend.” Wendy thought fondly. “Actually, she’s kind of like you, in that way, Riles. It’s too bad you never met her. You would have liked her. It’s a shame she disappeared weirdly enough.”

This peeked Riley’s interest. “Disappeared?”

“Yeah. We thought she was having fun, then randomly she just ditched us in the middle of the sleepover. We never saw her again, in school or anywhere. It’s a shame. I liked her. She would have made a great addition to the group, even though she was a little bit weird.” Bebe said. “It’s funny, you know, she actually looks a lot like she could be Butters’ cuter sister. But Butters never got to meet her because for some reason, he faked his death around that time.” 

“Funny how this new girl was named Marjorine, considering how in French, her name means…” That’s when the New Kid immediately stopped talking when realisation hit her.

Oh, wow. Well, that was a surprise.

She didn’t bother telling Wendy and Bebe what she discovered. In any case, they all spread out to tape copies of the list in different sections of the school and as lunch time was almost over, they decided to get a move on things.

Because of recent events, the New Kid was feeling equally happy and curious. She’s still a bit shocked she made top 10 and she’s not entirely sure Wendy didn’t have some sort of influence but in any case, it was an ego-booster for sure. The curiosity came from the whole ‘Marjorine’ thing. Obviously, Butters had made such a big impact with the girls in a short amount of time. When Wendy said that Marjorine had reminded her of the New Kid, that’s when the New Kid began to think that perhaps it would benefit Butters to know the truth.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Butters. Just the person she wanted to see.

“Oh, hey, New Kid. How was the voting?” Kyle greeted. 

“I made top 10!” she said, proudly displaying the list, then turned to Stan, “And look, Wendy’s in top 5!” 

“That’s my girl.” Stan smiled proudly, now officially being able to declare he was dating one of the cutest girls in school. Well, he knew it already. But it was nice to have an official declaration so he had bragging rights.

“Nice one, Riles!” Kyle congratulated, but in his head, he thought, _‘But I think you should have been number one.’_

“Congrats! But if I voted, I would have put you at number one.” Kenny winked at her. Beside him, Stan muffled his laugh and Kyle glared at him.

“Thanks! Um…Butters? You should look at this.” the New Kid said, handing him the official list.

“Well, thanks, New Kid, but I don’t really see why I would have to-“ Butters’ face paled when he saw the name on number 10. He had beaten out at least 13 other girls for top 10 Cutest Girl. When he looked up, the New Kid smiled at him, expecting him to be happy and excited over the news.

Instead, Butters turned red and looked really sad, like he was about to cry. 

“Waaaah!” he immediately cried as he ran away, leaving the list on the floor.

They all looked at the list on the floor awkwardly. 

“Um. Was it something I said?” the New Kid asked nervously.

_________________________

Later that day, there was a bit of an awkward situation as school ended and the Coon revealed his master plan: the New Kid would have to infiltrate Freedom Pals in order to get their intel and basically act as a spy.

She wasn’t a fan of this plan because she didn’t like the idea of deceiving her friends. But according to the Coon…

“It has to be the New Kid. One, because we need someone they don’t know very well. Two, they’re gonna want the New Kid because she’s a girl and right now, their team is a sausagefest.” the Coon argues.

"Right. THAT's why they want her on the team so bad. Not because she's ridiculously overpowered or because she’s got friends on their side." Super-Craig drawled.

As annoying as the plan was, she couldn’t deny he made damn good sense right there. She couldn’t deny that Freedom Pals would have some pretty useful intel and that out of everyone, she was the best bullshitter anyway. Plus, this would do wonders for her character arc. She always did have a fondness for double-agent stories. Not to mention, it’ll be nice to play with Stan, Tweek and Kenny again and she may get to know the others more through this, too.

But then, in order to bargain for his freedom, Professor Chaos decided to offer his gadgeteer-class skills to help the New Kid into the Freedom Pals’ base. Normally, this wouldn’t be so bad. After all, the New Kid liked Butters well enough, all things considered. But there was a thick tension in the air as they walked to Butters’ home because, well, only a few hours ago, the New Kid accidentally made him cry.

“You’re about to enter the Chamber of Chaos, New Kid! There’s no way to unsee the horrors within!” he said before they entered his house to pick up his ‘minion’. 

He picked up his ‘minion’, which was just a hamster, in his room and just as they were about to leave, his father showed up in the hallway.

“BUTTERS! Where have you been, mister?!” Mr Stotch scolded. 

“AH! Oh, hey, Dad! I-I-I just been hanging out with my n-n-new friend and-“ 

“You didn’t come home last night, Butters! Your mother and I were worried sick! We could barely enjoy the movie we were watching!” he accused, to which the New Kid almost snorted at.

“B-But I went to school! And I’m sorry, Dad, it’s just, my new friend, we-“

“Sorry’s not gonna cut it, Mister! And…wait. You?!” Mr Stotch said as he looked at the New Kid. “BUTTERS! Have you been spending time with the New Kid?!” 

“Well…yeah, why?” he asked, confused. So was the New Kid, for that matter. She never met Mr Stotch. So there was no reason for him to look at her like…well, like he was almost horrified at the idea of them hanging out. 

“Why? Because she-“ then he stopped talking, but the New Kid really wished he’d continue. It was strange, but this wasn’t the first time an adult had such a strong reaction to their kid hanging out with her and she couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out why. She was a good kid, never impolite, never talked back. Sure, she may throw the occasional farts, but was that enough to earn the weird amount of animosity she got? Mr Stotch looked at the New Kid just like Mrs Broflovski looked at her, although it was mind-boggling to her why said parents allowed Eric Cartman to hang out with their kid but not her.

In any case, whatever reason Butters’ dad had to dislike her, he wasn’t willing to disclose it. Instead, he glared at her and began pushing her out of his son's room. “You are grounded, Butters! And the same goes to you, missy, and you should go back home to be grounded in your own room!” 

“Aw, Dad, come on, she didn’t do nothin-“ But Butters never got to finish his sentence as his dad slammed the door shut.

At the sound of a door being slammed shut, the New Kid acted on reflex, crouching down to a foetal position, putting her hands on her ears and shutting her eyes so tight that it almost hurt.

“What the hell are you doing, kid? Didn’t you hear me? You’re grounded, go home!” he ordered as he grabbed her by the collar and put her outside of his house.

It wasn’t until the front house shut behind her that the New Kid finally opened her eyes and removed her hands from her ears. She was slightly surprised to see she was outside. When she got like this, she tended to block every single thing out.

Things like door slamming, things breaking, parents yelling, well…she supposed they were her actual kryptonite. There was something about it all that just made her freeze and unable to do anything all of a sudden. She hated when she got this way.

But as she suspected, Butters’ dad was a big douchebag. There was no shortage of crappy parents in South Park, but something about Butters’ dad somehow made him look worse than her parents or Kenny’s or Kyle’s mom or Stan’s dad…Perhaps it was because she knew that while she, Kenny, Kyle and Stan could always hold their own, Butters was like a little puppy. Kicking him down is just cruel. 

Now, she and Butters have never been too close. And honestly, there’s a little part of her that’s been a little sad whenever she hung out with him because she remembered how he didn’t really support her when she revealed her gender. Still, she saw someone in need of help and she couldn’t stop herself from wanting to try and make things better. So, she closed her eyes, focused on her fart and merely turned back time so she glitched herself back from the icy doorstep to inside Butters’ room in a second.

“AHH! New Kid, how did you-“

“Time farts.” she explained, “Hence the name, ‘Glitch Gal’.”

“Oh. Right.” he nodded. “Yeah, I remember seeing you in action! I can’t believe Eric let you have those powers along with your triple-class, too!”

“Yeah…” the New Kid drawled, not wanting to mention the fact that her time-farts weren’t exactly like her other ‘powers’. “Your dad’s a dick.”

Butters’ eyes widened, “Oh, don’t say that, New Kid! He may not be the best but he’s trying.”

“Not enough.” the New Kid says, “You know it, too.”

Butters’ shoulders slumped, “I guess I do, a little. I just don’t like saying it much.” 

“I understand.” She really does, too. It’s complicated because on one hand, she knew her parents loved her, just as much as Kenny’s parents loved him and so did Butters’ dad. Sadly, if she’s learned anything, it was that love wasn’t enough sometimes.

She didn’t know what to say to the poor boy. She might not be able to help his shitty home situation. But, that didn’t mean she couldn’t help in other ways.

“Butters? I’m sorry about showing you the list.” she says, bowing her head, “I didn’t know it would make you sad.”

Butters frowned, then looked at his shoes, “Well, it’s not your fault. I think you showed me that because you thought I’d be happy.”

“I did, yes!” she exclaimed, making Butters jump a bit. He spent so little time with the New Kid that he forgot sometimes she had a bit of an excitable personality. “I mean, I was happy when people thought I was cute as a boy and a girl. I thought you’d feel the same.” 

“Well…It’s not that it didn’t make me happy. I mean, I liked knowing that people think I’m a cute girl! And I was ranked pretty high on the Cutest Boys list last year, so that’s nice to know. But to be honest with you, New Kid, I think…I may have even liked being a cute girl more than I do a cute boy.” he finally confessed. 

It was the first time Butters Stotch even dared to admit it to himself, let alone out loud. Saying something out loud before admitting it to yourself in your head was awfully odd, like your body was capable of knowing something better than even you did.

“Wow. That’s pretty cool!” the New Kid twinkled, “I didn’t realise you felt that way. You know, it’s nothing to be afraid of. Wendy knows a lot about being transgendered, if you want, I could-“ 

Butters’ eyes widened and he looked like the New Kid was ready to write it down on Coonstagram, write a 12 foot banner in front of the school, alert the media and more terrifyingly, telling his parents. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, New Kid! I’m not saying I wanna be a girl!” Butters quickly said.

The New Kid blinked. “Oh. No?”

“No! I mean. I mean…Aw, heck, I don’t know! I don’t know what I want to be! It’s all so confusing! But…exciting, too. It’s still confusing and hard to understand, like maths, but I also really wanna figure it out, not like with maths.” Butters said.

The New Kid’s head tilted curiously as she watched the boy in front of her have an identity crisis. It was fascinating. Much like Butters said, she could see how the complexity of it all was getting to him, yet there was also a light in him that seemed to look like he was…hopeful, almost. Sure, he knew he had a big thing to decide, but he also seemed really happy in realising he had the choice.

“I liked being Marjorine. I also like being Butters. Aw, heck, I don’t know what I want.” he says, scratching his head.

“I know what you mean.” she nodded. “City kids learn about this identity stuff a lot sooner than you guys did. I remember being so confused if I was a girl or a boy, because for the longest time, my parents didn’t want me to be either. Everyone in South Park treated me like a boy and I had fun, but I also liked being a girl.” 

“Really? H-How’d you figure out you definitely wanted to be a girl then?” Butters asked.

“I didn’t. Until recently.” Riley admitted, “I just decided I was happier being a girl. So…I guess it depends. What makes you happy?” 

“Well, I’m not like you, New Kid.” Butters frowned, “I’m not all smart o-or strong like you and everyone else. I’m kind of slow like. I guess this is something I’ll be slow with, too.” 

The New Kid smiled sadly, “You’re not stupid or weak, Butters. No one like that could have had hundreds of minions filling trucks with lava at a U-Stor-It. All evil villains are doctors and evil masterminds for a reason. They’re all smart.” 

Butters’ frown began to disappear a bit, “I-I suppose so…” 

“And I’m not saying you should start wearing dresses and wigs and calling yourself ‘Marjorine’ just yet, but just…baby steps.” 

“What baby steps…?” he asks.

The New Kid paused, biting her lip and thinking about it. Then she looked through her pockets and took out a tube of mascara. It was her very first one that she bought from last Friday’s impromptu shopping trip. It meant a lot to her given how this was the first make-up she had ever bought in her whole life.

But she had a feeling Butters needed it more than she did.

“Close your eyes.” she ordered.

“Aw, you’re not gonna kiss me, are you?” Butters asked, “I mean, no offense, New Kid, but I’m just not into you that wa-“

“I don’t want to kiss you. At all.” 

“Well, gee, you don’t have to be so mean about it either…” Butters whined, but closed his eyes anyway.

The New Kid immediately opened the mascara and put some on Butters’ blond eyelashes. She couldn’t help but think of how unfair it was that boys had prettier eyelashes than some girls. Butters’ was no exception. He had long, curved eyelashes that were even more emphasised with the help of the mascara. 

She then grabbed a compact mirror from her pocket and put it in front of his face. “Open your eyes.”

At first, Butters wasn’t quite sure what he was looking at besides his reflection. “Wait, what am I…oh. Oh! Wow, I never knew how pretty my lashes were…”

The New Kid chuckled, then handed Butters the mascara tube, “Small change. Not noticeable unless you point it out. But…baby steps. One day, you can try lipstick. Then a wig. Then maybe a dress. Or decide you don’t want any of it. Up to you.” 

“Wow. Thanks, New Kid. This is really nice of you. No one’s ever really given me a present before, you know?” Butters said softly, rolling the mascara in his hands. 

“Don’t worry about it.” she smiled at him, “Now. We gotta get outta here.” 

“B-But I’m grounded!” Butters said.

“ _Butters_ is grounded.” the New Kid reasoned, “But not Professor Chaos. Or Marjorine.” 

“Hey…hey, yeah, you might have a point there! Alright, let’s get outta here!"

With that, they left Butters’ room using his minion to hack the new security lock that Butters’ dad put in. They were hoping to sneak past Butters’ dad but unfortunately, he caught them.

“But…But I grounded you! How can you be here?!” he said, bewildered, then he looked at the New Kid with horror, “You…on top of everything, you have some kind of ability to un-ground people?” 

The New Kid looked at him, curious. What did he mean by, ‘on top of everything’?

“You…you touch people and they become ungrounded, is that it?! Well, your evil magic is not welcomed here, darkling!” he said vehemently.

Sensing a battle about to emerge, the New Kid quickly sent a message on the Coon Friends group chat, requesting backup. Coon and Human Kite showed up but unfortunately, as soon as they arrived, Butters’ dad grounded them.

“The New Kid has some sort of power that makes them ungroundable! It’s amazing!” Butters exclaimed.

Really, it had less to do with any superpower and more to do with the fact that the New Kid has never been grounded once in her life. For one, she was a model student and a mute kid, so there was never any reason to ground her. And even if there was, it’s not like her parents were responsible people and were capable of disciplining her. 

But she indulged all of them, for the sake of their little fight, patting everyone as a way to un-ground them.

Now, in reality, the New Kid could end this fight easily herself. She was usually the one to strike to final blow. But she had the feeling that if anyone needed to be the one to defeat Butters’ dad, it was, well, Butters.

“Butters, he’s weak now, use _your_ powers!” Human Kite said, apparently having the same idea the New Kid did.

“What? I can’t!” Butters said.

“Butters, if you waste electricity and shock me, you’re grounded until you move out!” he threatened.

“Oh, hamburgers!” Butters said, seconds away from deciding to back out of the fight.

“If you don’t fight now, you’ll always be grounded, even after you’ve moved out!” the Coon told him. He may think Butters is a little bitch, but even he would rather take his side over an adult’s any day.

Butters hesitated, knowing the Coon was right. But his dad was right there, glaring at him and ready to ground him for all of eternity. 

“I’m sorry, fellas…It’s hard to be a brave when my kryptonite is staring me right in the face…” Butters slumped, about to leave, but then the New Kid stopped him.

“But is it Marjorine’s kryptonite?” she asked.

Butters suddenly looked like a light bulb appeared on top of his head.

“Marjo-oh, my fucking God, see what happens when you let one girl in, Kyle? All of a sudden, every girl thinks they can become a superhero!” Coon whined.

“No…no, you’re right! Marjorine is not afraid of grounding or her dad!” Butters said and immediately, he began summoning his ultimate ability against his own dad. 

“Whoa.” Human Kite said, extremely surprised. 

When Butters fell to the ground after his final attack, at first, he felt a sense of dread at what was to come next. 

Butters’ dad, exhausted and beat up, slowly got back on his feet and glared at his son, “You are grounded forever, mister!” 

“Really? But I don’t feel grounded…” Butters noticed. In fact, he felt freer than he ever had his whole life! “Hey guys, I’m not grounded anymore! I’m ungroundable, too!” 

The New Kid clapped along excitedly with him. Human Kite couldn’t help but congratulate him for standing up to his father but as for Coon…

“Yeah, yeah, we’re very proud of you for doing what literally every kid has been doing for ages, Butters. Now go and do the mission, we didn’t set you free so you could sit on your ass!” Coon commanded.

“Oh, a-alright then…” Butters stammered as they all left his house, ignoring his dad’s angry cries in the background.

Despite their mission, Butters left with high spirits as the adrenaline rushed through his veins. He loved this feeling, that feeling you get when you suddenly feel like anything and everything was possible and he was just _so_ happy to live life right now!

“Man, this feels great! Did you see the look on his face! Aw, heck, he must be really sore right now!” Butters said, laughing, but then the more he thought of how furious his father was, the quicker his high on life seemed to fall. “Oh…Oh, hamburgers, he’s really going to kill me! I guess I’m not as brave as I thought."

The New Kid shrugged, “Baby steps, remember?”

“Right. Baby steps.” Butters nodded, “Hey, New Kid? Thanks a lot. I’m really glad you and I were sent on this mission together.” 

The New Kid just smiled at him and patted his back as they made their way to Token’s house. Well, mansion.

For a long time, Butters wondered why the New Kid got so close to people as quickly as she did. A part of him felt slightly jealous, if truth be told. He tried to be Kenny’s replacement once and he was immediately booted off when Kenny came back, but it seemed like the New Kid found her own place within South Park’s fearsome foursome. Now that he got to know her a little better, he was beginning to get it.

Well, it’s a good thing that the New Kid gained Butters as a friend today because little did she know, she was going to lose a few of them tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when you look at the Butters-centric episodes, he really does seem the most likely to be part of LGBT when he grows older. There are hints he could be bi and he obviously liked being Marjorine. I thought this could be a really interesting thing to explore. I also took this opportunity to show the New Kid slowly showing her sassier side, which was first seen a bit in the Tweek and Craig/Wendy and Henrietta chapter but she's starting to be more vocal about it. I thought it would make sense given how she's now participating in clubs, being more open about who she is, slowly making new friends.
> 
> Fun fact: the Marjorine discovery wasn't supposed to come until later but I needed a reason for Butters to be on the New Kid's side. You know what happens later on lol But I found that this actually tied into the story pretty nicely.
> 
> As for why Mr Stotch seems to dislike NK so much, well, let's just say there's a reason for it, too.


End file.
